Stars, Like Dreams

Stars, like dreams, are something quite different than they might seem
They come out at night, pinholes in the sky
They promise to lead us toward the truth
Yet constantly distract us with little, white lies

Because stars aren’t pinholes
They are a million miles away
Unreachable
Unattainable
Flaming balls of fire that we find oh so beautiful
That we’ll never stop trying

Stars are always present
Pictures of the past
Promises of the future
Though they often go unseen
As the city lights around us drown out the stories above the skyline
While our dreams get lost somewhere in the byline
In chasing them we forget to read all of the guidelines
So here we are, on our knees again

Stars, like dreams, are larger than life
We pick our favorite to keep us warm in the morning
Looking for meaning in the smallest details
Keeping us up at night

Stars, like dreams, give us something to wish on
As we lose sight of the vision
Forgetting to keep moving our feet
Thinking we’ll get there if we just keep our eyes open

But sometimes, on summer nights
Stars, like dreams, are something to look forward to
So grab your blanket
I’ll go stargazing with you

Living Motion

I don’t think I was alive before you
I might have just been living
Because you give me life

I may have been a zombie
A walking corpse
With no purpose to speak of

Yet you still took me
Opening my eyes
Making my lungs breathe

You set my feet in motion
As I swim in the ocean
Of your love

I walk forward with confident steps
Even though I can’t make out what is around the next corner
I don’t need a new navigator

Marching blind
Knowing you’re forever by my side
And you would never let me down

You are my springtime
You are my summer
Changing my seasons in fall, keeping me warm in winter

I have nothing to fear
Sinking in your provision
I trust you with this life

I am yours

Blame it on the Weather

A lot of us like to get angry at the weather.  The town I live in relies on heavy snow in the winter and beautiful weather in the summer because it’s a mountain resort town.  However, over the last four years, California has been in a drought that has kept the snow from falling.  But summer has still been beautiful.  This year, we got more snow in May than in November, January, and March combined.  But we don’t need the snow in May.  Since then, it’s been raining and hailing and opening and closing the passes and making the weather not as ideal for tourists.
Now, I’m not complaining.  I love the rain.  I was supposed to move to Portland.  My dream is to live in England.  I have no problem with the rain.  I’m a little bummed that the weather here has not been what we rely on, but maybe we should stop relying on the weather.

I can’t remember who said it to me, so I can’t quote them, but someone said that the arts are prophetic.  And you don’t have to believe in God to be used by him.  So we should pay attention to what is happening in films and the media and whatever.
This is something that I haven’t thought a lot about, because I don’t get to watch a lot of movies, but I just watched San Andreas last Saturday, and God was speaking to me throughout the whole thing.  I realized that a lot movies have had to do with big changes in weather.  California has been devastated in a lot of films.  But I’m not going to say that California is going to get hit by a big earthquake or whatever.  A popular theme in movies and books has had to do with post apocalyptic worlds, or dystopian societies.  Another thing that I’m not saying is going to happen.  But maybe change is coming.  Maybe the world is going to shift.  Maybe this “bad weather” is going to become the norm.  And maybe we should accept it.  Or maybe not.

I honestly don’t know what is going to happen.  I think it is entirely possible that weather shifts are a normal part of nature.  Wasn’t there an ice age?  Wasn’t there a giant flood?  Wasn’t the world once a tropical paradise?  Where did the dinosaurs live?
I really don’t know that much about the history of weather.  It’s something that’s starting to intrigue me, but I don’t yet have enough time to research it.  All I’m saying is that we should stop complaining.  If we try to fight nature, we’ll fail.  Nature always wins.  But God wins more.

So let the snow fall.  Let the rain come down.  Let it be winter in January and springtime in June.  Or not.  Let the summer last until November.  Let winter take 4 months too long to get here.  I think the creator of nature probably knows what he’s doing.  I like to think he laughs at our petty complaints sometimes, because we can’t see what’s coming.

But remember, I can always be wrong.

Rules and Silence

I don’t want to speak anymore
I want to be still
To dwell in my silence
Become like Ariel, losing my voice
But not waiting for some true love to break this spell

I’m not under a spell
With my soul, it is well
Even when it’s not.

I want to break the rules
Make it so they don’t even exist anymore
Because I feel they’re holding me back from achieving something
Maybe they’re keeping me from some new brokenness

I don’t even feel overwhelmed by the darkness anymore
I’ve made my home in it.
I wrap it around me like a blanket in the winter
Yet I still find myself so cold

I’m freezing here
Like my fire burns cold
Like these are ashes, not coals

Is it so bold of me to say that there might be something missing?
I think we take so literally the vague commands
That we build up walls around the things that could save us
While we’re staying afloat, keeping our heads above the water
We forget to throw a life ring to those who actually need salvation

But maybe I’m wrong
I wouldn’t put it past myself
So I’m not going to speak anymore
Let me dwell in my silence

Best Day

I asked you to tell me about your best day
“Tell me a story,” I said
And you say you have nothing
That although your life exists of days, months, and years
You have no stories for me
You have no best day
And as much as I want to make this molehill into a mountain
I’m finding I might have to agree

Because I might not have a best day either
And maybe days can’t be used to measure greatness
So tell me about your best moments
And I’ll tell you mine

In a moment of pure brokenness, when Michael came to find me and drove my car with one hand
When Aaron said I was the best poet he knew
The time Erika and I went to see dinosaurs and fell down laughing because the penny didn’t roll
When I went more than 100 miles an hour in Long Beach on a first date with a guy who wasn’t right for me

I’ve fallen in love with every memory of Michelle surprising me with more dinosaurs
And all of our late night drives
And how the two of us could be completely alone together in silence, basking in pure contentment

When Rachel found out I could sing
When Pete found out I could write
When Felicia fell in love with Noah Gunderson

Every adventure with Anu is something I can look back at and smile
From autumn leaves, to winter frost, to driving to her first gig
Praying for healed backs in Costa Rica and seeing blind eyes opened

And there are so many more that I could try to mention
But I have some best moments with you, too

When you joked that I needed to be your best friend
When you decided I was an angel
Every time we made dinner
Every time I almost feel asleep at your house
And the one time I did

Doing donuts in the snow
Holding my hand for two seconds in a music store
The first time you kissed me after I tortured you through the movie
And every moment after

Maybe someday I’ll find a new best day
But you can have these ones for now
Because I’ve already said all I can say
Tell me about your best day

Elemental Remembrance

I hope you know I’m in the water
That every sip you take leaves my taste in your mouth
That my streams can’t be erased
Even with a drought
You’ll try to forget me
But my thirst fills you with doubt

I hope you know I am the fire
And when the cold winter comes, it is me who keeps you warm
Thoughts of me cross your mind at every pop of kindling, at every new piece of wood
Forget me?  Oh, you wish you could
But you are so cold

I am the ground you walk on
And with every further step my heart breaks
With every held in breath the floor shakes
Have you stopped to wonder at the constant earthquakes?

I am the air you breathe
Inhale, exhale
You realize you needed me
And with every passing moment you realize you’re suffocating
As I slowly relax, as I breathe freely

I am the pattern on your rug, draped across your parents’ living room floor
The one you trace every lazy Sunday afternoon
I am every strange knock on your front door
The one you’re still too afraid to answer
My memories must be leaving you so sore
Because I keep going on alone

You abandoned me
And when I woke up and realized you were gone
It took everything I had to finally move on
And now you hear my voice in every new song
So now you have the audacity to say you miss me?!
I have no reply
Because for the days I spend in tears
Did you ever cry?
And while you sit on your mountain, are you soaring, are you high?
Gone are the days when away, I wish I could fly
Because too many nights were spend pondering, How many times did you lie?

So you can try to forget me
But I am the air you breathe
Slowly dying
As you are erased from my memory