Saying Goodbye

Bobby and I turned in our keys yesterday. We are finally moved out of our first little house that we shared. We no longer have to deal with crazy neighbors that hiss at our dog or throw possible poisoned bread in the backyard. But we also can no longer walk to the movie theater or to the mall to get energy drinks.

I’m not working anymore, but Bobby’s last day is Friday. Next week we say goodbye (and good riddance) to living in the South. We say goodbye to overly religious racists making up too much of the population around us. We say goodbye to people who use our Creator as an excuse for their prejudiced actions. We say goodbye to unwalkable city planning and drivers who want cyclist commuters to die simply because they’re on a bike. We say goodbye to not earning a livable wage. We say goodbye to so many things.
But we also say goodbye to good music. We say goodbye to the history of modern recording. We say goodbye to seeing zoo lions without going to a zoo whenever we want. We say goodbye to good friends. We say goodbye to cheap rent. We say goodbye to so many things.

I am so excited to say hello again. I’m excited to go home and be home and feel home. I’m excited to breath fresh air and for the shade to be cooler than the sun. I’m excited to be out of the humidity.
I’m excited to adventure again. And I’m more than excited to start somewhere new with my favorite human.

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Road Trip With Me: Saying Goodbye

So I’ve been thinking about doing this series for a couple weeks now.  There were just a few minor setback, which is why this is getting posted today, as opposed to last weekend.  See, on the road, it’s much harder to find time and wifi in the same moment.  Anyway…

Let me catch you up.  Last Friday I said goodbye to my home, my friends, and my life in Mammoth, and I packed up my car and set off across the country.  Except I went to LA first to say goodbye to few friends before truly beginning my trek east.
I have been excited for this adventure for such a long time.  I wanted to move all the way back in October, so I was not sure why I had waited so freaking long.  I love traveling.  I love following my heart.  When I’m doing the right thing, nothing else bothers my heart… So I thought…

I wasn’t sad at all.  So many people would say how they were going to miss me, and though I knew for sure that I was going to miss my friends and my job and my lifestyle, I knew that it wouldn’t be enough to change my mind.  I wasn’t sad yet.  I wasn’t homesick yet.  I don’t even really get homesick.
So on Friday I made my rounds.  I said goodbye to Michelle, Jacob, and Gus, my old roommates and some of my best friends.  They prayed for me.  They were excited for me.  We only got a little emotional.
Then I went to say goodbye to someone else.  Someone wrong for me, but still right for me.  Someone who I have spent far too much time with in the past five months.  He was still lounging in bed.  We talked for a minute.  I hugged him goodbye.  I kissed him goodbye, and I left.  Then he begged me to hang for a half hour, to watch a show or something.  To just be together for a little bit longer.  So of course I did.  And when it was finally time for me to actually go, we both fell apart.  I cried into his shoulder.  I apologized so many times.  I don’t think either of us thought it would be so hard to let go.

So that pretty much ruined my next few days.  Seeing friends in LA just made me fall apart more.  I kept telling myself that I cannot turn back.  Not yet.  I need to do this.  And I am not afraid.
There is so much more to that story, but my heart is not ready.  It might never be.  Love is such a complicated thing.  And life is such a complicated mess that I’m not even sure why we keep trying.

So I’ve said goodbye.  I’ve said goodbye to everything I’ve known.  I’ve embarked on a crazy adventure.  I  have broken my own heart.
But I’ve also seen a lot of dinosaurs, so there’s that.  I’ll keep you posted.  And I’ll be less emotional and more on time next time.