You Come in Close

You come in close
I can feel your breath on my neck
Breathing your life into me

You come in close
Loosening these chains that bind me
Watching my shackles fall to the ground

You come in close
Lifting me to my feet so I can stand with you
Preparing me to run

And we’ll run
You take me on a wild ride
Over mountains, through valleys, crossing streams, conquering deserts

You come in close
You take me on endless adventures
And let me rest when I grow weary

You come in close
You carry me out of the holes I dig for myself
Teaching me not to fight anymore

You come in close
You piece together my aching heart
You make me whole again

You come in close
Wrap your arms around me in restoration
Your warmth is unmatchable

You come in close
And it’s like magic without the tricks
And it finally all makes sense

You come in close
You love me as your own
Because that’s exactly what I am

You come in close
And I can feel you

In the In Between

Somewhere in the in between is where we’re living
Something  between friends and what comes next
Somewhere between secret adventures and just secrets

Terrified of the potential pain here
Between missed opportunity and committing too soon
Between the disappointment that comes with no and the publicity that comes with yes

In the privacy of these walls revelations happen
Between these sheets, new truths are told
And we’ll stay here, in between deception

Honesty and intimacy are holding hands now
Somehow finding safety in this insecurity
As we’ll live here, somewhere in the in between

I’m Out of Ideas

I’m tired.  I’m running out of energy, and I know that this is only a temporary thing, but sloth mode is not really my favorite.

I’m really excited about things happening in the future, and really I’m more than content with things happening in my present, but it’s like I have nothing to talk about.  It’s  like I have nothing to write about.  Though I am writing a lot.  I’m just not writing the things that I used to be so excited about.  I’m not stagnant, but I’m something?

I’ve pulled away again.  But I’ve pulled into who I want to.  It’s just really hard to express these things without being heard.  I cannot be heard.  Not yet.  Not now.

So I’m out of ideas.  My life is so good, but also, I feel so rough.  It feels so hard to celebrate.  It feels so hard to go on living a normal life, as if nothing is missing.  Everything might be missing.  Or maybe not.

I wish there was a way for me to share who I am.  I wish there was a way to be genuinely known.  I think I want to learn more than vulnerability.  I think I want to learn how not to have walls.  Yes, protection is important.  But intimacy can be so secure in safety.  I want to find that safety.  I want to know what safe really is.

Bright Eyes

They called her bright eyes
Because her eyes shine bright like the stars, like her mind
They say she lights up every room, even if she’s hiding
With her soft demeanor and her smile that is kind

But she worries that her flame has gone out
She can’t shine for them anymore
She can’t even shine for herself as a cloak of darkness overwhelms her
Not knowing she’s still burning, deep down in her core

Fighting to become the person that they all thought she was
Forcing deep breaths in and out of her tired lungs
Not ready to face the fear she has become
All she sees before her she thought she’d left behind; thought she was done

They’d never know this all is crushing her
Trying so hard not to collapse beneath the weight she carries
On her shoulders, in her heart, she can’t bear it
Just drop it, Bright Eyes, let it go

She used to be a fire, unkempt
She brought warmth, light, and danger
She was wild, and they loved it
If only they could see her today

Maybe all she needs is a spark
Strike a quick match on the stone she is becoming
Light up her eyes; light up the world
Keep her close to your heart, she’s more than just a girl

There was a time when she was the life of the party
Maybe she could make her way back there again
Just warm her up, watch her go
In a sea of joy, we could watch her swim

Climb with her to a high, high peak
Let her be a lighthouse to those who don’t know they’re lost
Don’t let her hide, can you save her?
Maybe soon she can save you too

You see, they called her bright eyes
Her eyes are brilliant, her mind is bright
She thought her flame had gone out in her weakness
But she was wrong; she is strong

They call her bright eyes
Watch her as she burns