2019- A Year For Words

I used to read a lot. And I used to read quickly. I devoured words and had so much inspiration to spin more. But I’ve been distracted for so long. I go through phases, but I don’t want reading and inspiration to be just a faze. So I’m going to try to make 2019 a year for reading, a year for words.

I made a decision that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I decided to sign up for Book of the Month. This means I’ll at least read one book a month.

I tried last year to do the Amazon First Reads on my Kindle, but I just don’t like reading on my kindle very much. It’s useful for school books and for traveling, but there’s just something about real books with pages I can turn. I can see how close to the end I am getting. And the pages don’t make my eyes as tired.

I’ve also decided that if I don’t like a book, I’m not going to kill myself trying to finish it. That’s what makes reading so exhausting. Not every writing style is as easy for me to read. Everyone likes what they like.

I’m going to do my best to do what I like. Because for a while now I haven’t been doing what I like. I haven’t been doing that many things that make me happy. Alabama has not made me happy. It’s time that I start taking care of myself through and through, starting with reading again.

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Stop Worrying

Honestly.  Just stop it.  It’s 2012 now, I don’t really get a choice about whether I want to see it or not now, it’s already here and I’ve already seen it.

I don’t really know that I have any new year’s resolutions, I’ve never made one before.  I usually just change things in my life as they go, I suck at making goals for myself.  I never know what goals to set.  Maybe to survive and thrive.

I feel like I’m in trouble.  A ridiculous amount of people suddenly is taking notice in me.  It’s funny how, when I reach the end of my rope, then someone decides to realize that I may be in trouble.  But I’m not in trouble.  Anything that happens is my own fault.  The fact that I am a messed up individual is my own fault.  My depression, my suicidal tendencies, I own them, they’re my fault.

So, sorry for once again being an inconvenience by causing worry.  I have said before that I’m not worth worrying over, and that’s not going to change.  I have to change myself.  I have to let God change me.  I have given Him my life, now it’s time that I give Him my death, and everything in between.

2012, be happy, be full, be new, be Jesus.  JUST BE.