We Have an Announcement

Back home currently has the most snow in the United States. A lot of feet of snow have fallen. Flagstaff, Arizona has a ton of snow right now also. In fact, a friend of mine that lives in Tucson posted a snowy video today too! Needless to say, I miss the snow. Alabama has no snow, but that’s no surprise.
And snow isn’t even the most important thing to me, especially in a place that I want to live.

I moved to Alabama sort of on a whim. I thought I was being called here. I thought my life was going to change and I would be put on a path that would launch me into a career I could only dream about. It’s funny how I’m usually wrong about these things. Because what I thought I was stepping into was not at all what I actually stepped into.

I had not lived here six months when my mother passed. I was reeling from her loss and found comfort in alcohol and watching stupid Netflix shows with someone who was starting to become a very good friend. It wasn’t much later that he was more than a friend and I fell in love with Bobby.
Moving to Alabama changed my life. Losing my mother changed my life. But loving Bobby has changed my life for the better.

Last year, Bobby and I took a road trip across the country because I was homesick. Along the way we stopped in Flagstaff, Arizona to buy some film and get coffee at Dutch Bros. because I discovered they have one there. We had been in the city half an hour when we both decided we wanted to live there. We planned to make the move after I finished my graduate program, and I would just go through the licensing process in Arizona. I had some anxiety about the difficulty of finding someone to supervise me so I could get my license, when I would have no contacts in Arizona, but I figured it would work itself out.
But I’ve been homesick for a long time. Alabama has made me more and more miserable. I thought if I quit my job and made a change that I would be happier, but in December I only felt more depressed. I felt like I couldn’t make it. I just wanted to go home.
So I called my dad. And I called my brother. And they said that Bobby and I could move back to my childhood home for the summer to save money. So we’re leaving Alabama in May and will be in California for three months. I’m ready to go home.
Bobby and I decided that we didn’t want to wait until I finished school, especially when the licensing process in a different state might be challenging. So I’m going to finish my degree in Arizona. We’ll be moving there in August, and I am so excited.

Since I’ve been missing the snow and sick of all the rain here, I figured now would be a good time to announce that we’re leaving. Finally.

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New Year

Wash over me
Waves come crashing, rains come falling down
New waters, refreshing
Drought is ending

The thirsty can drink
No need to thirst anymore
Be renewed in this
Be revived in this

Spring up oh well
Can you feel it?
In your heart, you’re overflowing
What you thought was dry is drenched

Can you see death in the land around you?
Because all I see is teaming with green
This land is alive, well, and free
It has not let you down yet

Welcome to a new year
A new life
Be refreshed
This drought is ending

Time Passes Differently

My mother died almost two months ago.  I’m not really sure where to go from here.  But I have some thoughts.  I always have some thoughts.

I spoke at her service.  I wrote a poem and shared some thoughts, along with a poem that she wrote more than 30 years ago.  It was something personal.  Not something I planned on dwelling on.
But people keep asking me to send it to them.  People keep asking for copies.  And I don’t even have it typed up.  I’m not sure that I was planning on typing it up.  Not for a long while.  I feel like asking that of me is a bit insensitive, isn’t it?  I write a lot of things.  Why is this the one thing people keep bugging me about?

So anyway, after all of the mess, I’ve decided to put it here.  Here’s a poem.

 

There is pain
And there is peace
Pain for something lost that words cannot do justice
Peace, because there is no more pain

Songs are sung freely now
Lungs are not aching for breath
Mountains are climbed with ease, now
No need to stop and rest

Adventures can still be had
She’ll go with you still
With every new experience
Delight is more than real

It’s okay to laugh
I’m sure she’s laughing more
In fact, she’s probably dancing now
Her feet never touching the floor

There is a freedom to be basked in
A joy, lighter than air
A truth in her heart she can finally know
The promised land she always dreamed of

I’ve heard time passes different now
So while we’re down here mourning
She spends no time waiting for time to catch up
Saying “I’ll see you in the morning.”

We have pain
She’s in peace
Words can’t do this justice
But remember her peace, now, as she learns to dance in the rain

Blogging Everyday in July|A Poem About Clouds

Clouds are one of my favorite things.  If you follow me on Instagram, there’s no doubt that you’ve seen far too many photos of clouds, from the Sierra Wave to the fluffy clouds over the skies of Alabama.  I just love them.  I think they’re an art that we’ll never be able to form ourselves.   So someone asked me to write a poem about them.  And I did.

Clouds
Floating by silently overhead
Sky art
In waves and puffs of softness
Dense air holding water
Held up by invisible strings
Carrying joy, peace, anger, sadness, storms
Pour down on me
Pour down on me
Bring life
Refresh me
Warm summer rain
I am renewed

In Motion

Even the smallest motion causes movement in still water
Ripples that can become waves
So it’s okay if we keep still
As living creatures, even keeping still is not completely still
There is motion in life
Even the stillest life

We make waves by breathing
Change atmospheres by stepping into the room
Perspectives morph with every spoken thought
So please, never stop thinking

They say the beat of a butterfly’s wings can cause a hurricane
You may not see the storms you cause
But storms are where the truth is revealed
Rain brings life
Life in motion

Torrential Downpour

I was caught in a torrential downpour
Though only for a moment
Now understanding
This calm after the storm

Nothing has ended
In this new beginning
The rain has made this all new
Bask in this
Be refreshed
If only for a moment

Drink it all in
Drown in it
Because you are not drowning
Take this and swim in it

Found myself caught in a torrential downpour
Thought I was stuck in this moment
Thought I’d left my blue skies behind me
I am calm here
In this storm

The World is Not Going to End

The world is not going to end
Not today
Not when we expect it to
It is not dying
Simply maturing

We look at her
Our earth
And see depravity
Decay
Then search for someone to blame it on

But she is not our play thing
We complain that she is broken
When she doesn’t do the things we want her to

There’s not enough water here
It’s too cold there
She sent another hurricane
Searching for sun
Instead of enjoying the rain

We forget it’s not her job
To keep us alive
Mother nature is not our mother
Animals  move on or die
While we complain at doomed survival

Our world is strong
She can restore herself
If we would just stop
Destroying her

In our efforts to kill her
To tame her
To control  her
We are only killing ourselves

The world is not going to end
Not today
Not the way we expect her to
She doesn’t need our help surviving
So why do we try to save her?