My Mother Would Have Loved Marie Kondo

Growing up, my house was never tidy. Sometimes it was clean, but it was never tidy. And it was never kept that way. We had things stacked up in lots of random places, because my mom found it hard to let go. But every once in a while she would get frustrated at her family for also not being tidy. She would ask us to clean our rooms. She would pick up things that we had left lying around and she would say “There’s a place for everything, and everything in its place.”
I think that’s why my home feels chaotic to me sometimes. Most things have their place, but a lot of things don’t have their place, so they just get set somewhere, and then when we need them we really have to search. I don’t want to live that life anymore.

I’ve been watching, like I’m sure a lot of people have been watching, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix. It’s been amazing. I’ve been wanting to read her book for so long (let me know if you want to buy it for me) so when I saw this show I got so excited.
One thing that I heard her say in one episode is that it feels good when everything has a place. I instantly thought of my mother when I heard this.

My mother didn’t get to have a lot of innocent joy in her life. And she kept a lot of things. But I don’t think many of those things brought her joy.
I think my mother would have loved Marie Kondo, and I wish I could have seen her take Marie’s techniques into her life. I hope I can take Marie’s techniques into my life.

I’m ready for more innocent joy and less meaninglessness. I’m ready to be tidy. And I want to do it, because she couldn’t.

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Blogging Everyday in July|Social Media

Do you ever log onto Facebook and see someone’s post about something great that happened that day?  Do you log onto Instagram and see photos from some new and exciting adventure?  Do you see tweets on Twitter from all your friends who appear to be hanging out without you?  Can I let you in a secret?  It’s not real.  Not really.

Yes, great things are happening in your friends’ lives, but that’s not all.  Think about what you post on social media.  You only share what you want people to see.  You of course share the good times, the fun times, the spontaneous jam sessions, and midnight adventures.  How often do  you post the dark times, the lonely times, the times you feel left out?  Exactly.  Because when people are negative on social media, they look annoying and pessimistic, unless they find a way to do it in a funny way.

And I’m not saying any of this to point a finger.  We all do it.  I do it.  Go through my feed and you’ll see photos from my adventures and posts about how great my friends are.  I once had a friend from college say that I only take photos in scenic places.  Which is only true because that’s what I share.  I do my best to make my ordinary surroundings look extraordinary.  I go out of my way to find something beautiful.  I push myself.  And I think for a while it became less about the adventure and more about the photo.

When I lived at the camp in Mammoth, 85% of my photos were taken in the same location, but if you didn’t live there, you’d never know it.  I could walk less than 200 feet and get a completely different vantage point.

I took far too many ski lift photos to show how sporty I am.  Except I rarely skied more than three hours at a time, and I usually went up for less time than that.  But that’s only because I had the luxury to do so.  I want my life to be an adventure, so I did my best to show that I really was adventuring.

In reality, I spent a majority of my time at work, and the rest of my free time drinking, sleeping, or wasting time with the boyf on Netflix.  I’d probably ski once every week or two.

I gave the illusion that I travel a lot.  I’d post photos of Costa Rica or Ireland like it was no big deal.  But those trips were life changing, and I have no idea when I’ll be able to do another one.

A lot of times social media can bring depression.  We feel alone or sad or lost, and people post about how their lives are so great.  You’d never know that those same people have struggles too.  If social media is getting you down, maybe you should unplug for a little while.  I know I’m thinking about it.

Because social media isn’t all negative.  It has a way of building community.  I am able to keep in contact with my friends from literally all over the world.

So we have to take the good with the bad.  Step back, look at what you have.  And maybe, the next time you get annoyed at how great someone’s life appears, think about what you’re sharing.  Because you’re probably comparing their positive with your negative, and that’s never a good idea.

Fell For You

Maybe I fell in love with you the very first day
The 14th of February, when we decided to go out after work
Joking that it was our first date because it was the international day of love

I could have sat across from you for hours
Talking about cars and music and God
But instead I left you early, realizing we were kindred spirits

Maybe it was when you brought my favorite candy to work with you
Saying I could only have it if I promised to stay
Even though you knew that I wouldn’t

It could have been the night we watched Netflix in your room and I fell asleep
And you did too, until I begged you to take me home
And you joked the next day that you’d tell people we slept together

It was probably the night I brought over my guitar
But instead of my music making you fall in love
We told stories of life and death and why we believe what we believe

After that I thought I’d never get over you
Even though I wasn’t convinced I was under you
Struck with the knowledge that there was still someone else

There’s always a possibility that I fell for you the night I asked you about her
And you were so broken and ashamed, even when you didn’t need to be
We drove around for an hour while you asked me what I wanted in a guy, knowing it could never be you

I fell in love when you helped me to breathe again
Even though it meant I had to leave again
While you stayed behind

I knew I was a goner when you told me you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t kiss me
And you didn’t
You ran away instead

My footing was slipping when you said you’d been thinking
That I might be worth trying
Then you changed the rules because you believed I was worth more than this

My heart hit the ground the night you actually did kiss me
Okay with not going too far
Because I’d never been there with a guy before

I was soaring high when it happened again
And we sat on your bed talking about all of our impossibilities
And how they could be possible if only things were different

And then I came crashing down
The possibility of you leaving two months too soon had never occurred to me
And the idea of you being gone forever is just too much for me

So I’ve decided that I never fell for you at all
And that I write an awful lot about love for someone who’s never experienced it
Because maybe I still don’t believe in it

Even though what I feel for you is different than I’ve ever felt before
I’d never tell you so
Because I don’t love you, not at all

One More Episode Slump

Hi.

I started watching Parks and Rec last week.  And now I’m addicted.  I’m in that one more episode slump, where I just keep hitting next on Netflix, rather than turning it off.  Good thing I don’t have any real obligations until next I start work on the ninth.

Why do we as humans get addicted to things so easily, especially things that make us lazy?

I need an intervention.