Blogging Everyday in July|About Breathing

About breathing, take a breath.

Tonight we talked about breathing.  We talked about fear.  And we talked about courage.  And if you’ve followed me at all, you know that I talk about the air in our lungs, the breaths we take, probably far too much.  I reference breathing and suffocating and drowning in my poetry far too often.  Because when I am stuck in anxiety it’s almost too hard to breathe.  And I like breathing.  I like air.  I like life.
So here’s a couple more little unnamed poems about breathing etc.

Fear, have no fear
Suffocation, you can breathe
Pounding heart, settle
You were made for this

Wings of doves overhead
Promises fulfilled
Home.  Here.
Enhancing the blend

Community
Satisfying cravings
Whole, unbroken
Anxiety reconciled

 

Breathe every breath with intention
Your thoughts fill your lungs
And you can rest here
On your father’s breast

Every moment is not fleeting
Be aware of your reality
It’s not always easy, not always hard
But it is always real

Welcome to emotion
Holding back, letting go
Drowning in vulnerability
You are safe here

Life is not an accident
Live it on purpose
Take a breath of courage
Take a step in bravery

 

Nobody’s Story

Nobody’s story is simple
To get to where you are now had to come from somewhere
Even growing in perfection has moments of misdirection
Every stained glass had its broken moments

The one who has it all together had to learn to stretch to wrap their arms around the broken years
The one who shines so brightly in the light has trouble falling asleep at night because of fear of darkness
The early riser, morning conqueror never fell asleep in the first place
The one so quiet and concentrated has learned to gather scattered thoughts to keep from going crazy

We try to put everyone in a box
Believing no one can understand
That everyone’s life must be easy
Because you can watch them breathe while you feel as though you’re suffocating

Things don’t go to plan
Because the chaos of the universe already has its order
As we try to grasp it we fall apart
Developing a story to be told

Nobody’s story is simple
To get to where you are now had to come from somewhere
So tell it

Torrential Downpour

I was caught in a torrential downpour
Though only for a moment
Now understanding
This calm after the storm

Nothing has ended
In this new beginning
The rain has made this all new
Bask in this
Be refreshed
If only for a moment

Drink it all in
Drown in it
Because you are not drowning
Take this and swim in it

Found myself caught in a torrential downpour
Thought I was stuck in this moment
Thought I’d left my blue skies behind me
I am calm here
In this storm

Stop

Stop
For a moment
Take a deep breath
And remember

He has your back
He goes before you
He holds your hand
As he is guiding you

He is your light
In every dark place
Even when you close your eyes
He is with you

You may be walking
Through the Valley
Of the Shadow of Death
But there is nothing left to fear

You are coated
In armor
Of his holiness
Nothing is out to get you

He is ready
And waiting
For you to leave your fears
Behind you

Diving in headfirst
As you follow him
With every episode
You feel yourself fall away

But you are drawing closer
This is not a mountain
And you’ve already climbed it
You have made it

So stop
For a moment
And breathe
Because he is with you

I Need to Remember

I need to remember how you broke me
Into pieces
Throwing me off the deep end
Only to be brought in with the tide
Brought back to you

I need to remember how  you asked for my heart
Only to hold it too tightly
Crushing it in your palm
Letting the dust blow away in the wind

I need to remember your empty promises
Your lies
Your forgetfulness
Every moment you denied the moment before

But instead I’ll remember mornings
Wrapped in your arms
Leaving you at an hour that no one wants to be awake
And you’re never even angry at me
For waking you up
For holding you close
For keeping you warm
You were my winter

Instead I’ll remember spending too much on dinner
Being too full to move
And too full on life to care

I’ll remember drunken kisses
And drunken conversations
And drunken mistakes
Because for a while, every moment was drunken

I’ll remember loving you
I’ll remember losing myself in you
Trying to leave you again and again
Until this final goodbye
Where you’ll be left behind

Because you’re worth a lot
Just not enough
To let go of my dreams
Only to hold you closer
As you hold me down

So I’ll try to remember your brokenness
That broke me
Rather than everything else
That has made me whole

Best Day

I asked you to tell me about your best day
“Tell me a story,” I said
And you say you have nothing
That although your life exists of days, months, and years
You have no stories for me
You have no best day
And as much as I want to make this molehill into a mountain
I’m finding I might have to agree

Because I might not have a best day either
And maybe days can’t be used to measure greatness
So tell me about your best moments
And I’ll tell you mine

In a moment of pure brokenness, when Michael came to find me and drove my car with one hand
When Aaron said I was the best poet he knew
The time Erika and I went to see dinosaurs and fell down laughing because the penny didn’t roll
When I went more than 100 miles an hour in Long Beach on a first date with a guy who wasn’t right for me

I’ve fallen in love with every memory of Michelle surprising me with more dinosaurs
And all of our late night drives
And how the two of us could be completely alone together in silence, basking in pure contentment

When Rachel found out I could sing
When Pete found out I could write
When Felicia fell in love with Noah Gunderson

Every adventure with Anu is something I can look back at and smile
From autumn leaves, to winter frost, to driving to her first gig
Praying for healed backs in Costa Rica and seeing blind eyes opened

And there are so many more that I could try to mention
But I have some best moments with you, too

When you joked that I needed to be your best friend
When you decided I was an angel
Every time we made dinner
Every time I almost feel asleep at your house
And the one time I did

Doing donuts in the snow
Holding my hand for two seconds in a music store
The first time you kissed me after I tortured you through the movie
And every moment after

Maybe someday I’ll find a new best day
But you can have these ones for now
Because I’ve already said all I can say
Tell me about your best day