Breath

It comes rushing in
Like a rushing wind
Like a deep inhale
Filling these lungs
That once gasped for breath

It’s a joy that overtakes
A love that overcomes
A grace that breaks free
A faith holding steadfastly
A mercy that bends rules without breaking them

This freedom rings
A sound resounding
Heard miles off
It cannot be hidden
But why would we want to hide it in the first place?

Hearts are healed
Sickness is destroyed
Promises fulfilled
Forgiveness freely given
The price has already been paid

A life laid down
So simply put
Perfection lived out
Stains removed
Poured into wounds unimaginable

We can focus on the pain
Or we can focus on the gift
Neither is more real
Neither can be returned
But we can be clothed in acceptance

So why not be thankful?
Why not find joy?
What have we got to lose?
It is finished
It has already been done

In the end, nothing else matters
But you never ceased to matter
Every step
Every breath
They’re all worth taking

Arms are open wide
Pulling you in
You can resist
Or let go
Because he’s not letting go of you

He breathes life
Into you
Patiently he’s waited
And patiently he’ll wait
For you to inhale

He’ll come rushing in
Like a rushing wind
With a deep inhale
Filling your lungs
That once gasped for breath

Drive

Long drives on county roads
Tall grass tracing existence
Giving me something to dream on
Noah on the speakers
But it’s God that’s speaking to me
This is church
This is worship
Presence on my mind
Behind me
Before me
At the top of my lungs

I am more myself here
With no one else around
Me, Noah, and God
Truth rings out in this car
Constantly craving authenticity
Believing I am failing at being authentic
Find me here

I have tried to drown myself
In self medication
Living in denial
Waking up to too many empty mornings
I need another drive
I was found there

Blogging Everyday in July|About Breathing

About breathing, take a breath.

Tonight we talked about breathing.  We talked about fear.  And we talked about courage.  And if you’ve followed me at all, you know that I talk about the air in our lungs, the breaths we take, probably far too much.  I reference breathing and suffocating and drowning in my poetry far too often.  Because when I am stuck in anxiety it’s almost too hard to breathe.  And I like breathing.  I like air.  I like life.
So here’s a couple more little unnamed poems about breathing etc.

Fear, have no fear
Suffocation, you can breathe
Pounding heart, settle
You were made for this

Wings of doves overhead
Promises fulfilled
Home.  Here.
Enhancing the blend

Community
Satisfying cravings
Whole, unbroken
Anxiety reconciled

 

Breathe every breath with intention
Your thoughts fill your lungs
And you can rest here
On your father’s breast

Every moment is not fleeting
Be aware of your reality
It’s not always easy, not always hard
But it is always real

Welcome to emotion
Holding back, letting go
Drowning in vulnerability
You are safe here

Life is not an accident
Live it on purpose
Take a breath of courage
Take a step in bravery

 

Sitting in Silence

Sitting in silence
By myself
With myself
Really getting to know myself
As my purpose is forgotten

So utterly alone
Wondering if I can make it
On my own
As it’s too late
To abandon this quest

Empty home
Empty heart
Fill me up
To the brim
Overflowing
Welcome me in

No one said this was easy
Though I wish it was
It’s something I have to do
My hand is held
Let me just trust this

Within my chest
Lays a cavern
Where my heart still beats
Where my lungs still breathe
Take care of me

Mistaken identity
Please remember me
Though I won’t be returning to you
Anytime soon

I was used
Abused
And kept coming back for more
Because I’d forgotten how to feel
And I just needed to feel something

Yet now I feel too much
Threatening to pull away at every touch
Begging you to hold me
2,000 miles away
I’m lonely
Sitting in silence

Heart Aches

Does your heart ever ache
For someone else?
Feeling someone else’s pain
Carrying it like a stain?
When will you be okay
Again?

I wish I could tell you
I feel your pain for you
So you don’t have to dwell
Anymore

My beating heart isn’t broken
Like yours is
I’m strong enough to bear this
It’s not like I haven’t
Before

I want you to go on
Living
For yourself
Not for me
Just breathe

Miles away
My heart aches
Pumping out your pain
Into my veins
Sorrow fills my lungs
Drowning in something
I’ll never understand

I can feel it
So I know you feel it
I made it through
You’ll make it through
Better than I did

Only when I forget you
Will all this pain we’ve gone through
Be reconciled

Even
If it never
Had anything
To do with me
In the first place

En Fuego

Sometimes there’s beauty from ashes
Nature taking itself back
Flood gates opened and communities destroyed
But it’s what we always asked for

Bring on the rain
Pour out the fire
And disappear in the smoke that follows
Because that’s all I know how to do

Go for a swim and come back drowning
These lungs don’t need air anymore
This voice is nonexistent
They always forgot to listen anyway

I’m not exactly running away
I’m escaping
From this prison with no doors and windows
Lacking the space that peace builds around

The grass grows anyway
The flowers bloom anyway
And nothing you can say will stop them
Even in my efforts to protect them from you

The weeds you’ve planted are dying
Not strong enough to withstand my fire
Because that’s all I am
All I was born to be

I used to be afraid to burn
Never seeing the beauty that came after
Only seeing destruction and death
Forgetting that all is natural

But this spark gave way to an inferno
And there will be nothing left
Flame on
I am strong

Strong enough to claim this valley
But choosing to move on instead
They can’t breathe in my smoke
Falling, gasping for air

I am not hardened
My heart still beats freely
To the rhythm of war drums
Yet my storm is quelled

I’ll be a candle again
I’ll be peace again
I’ll be silent again
As I am reborn

Not Again

I feel knots in my stomach and my lungs, they fail to breathe
I didn’t know I’d let you have this kind of power over me
All I want in the world is the ability to flee
But what you have made happen has only brought me to my knees

I am begging you to release me from this hold
Even though you have shut me out, left me in the cold
If this is what I should’ve expected, I wish I had been told
I’m giving up, I’m broken, this is my hand, and I fold

I’m so glad I didn’t let you all the way through the door
Because then my heart and soul might be a little more than sore
But really, do I have anything to be glad for?
In reality, you’re feelings for me were nothing else but folklore

I should never have let things go as far as they did
You’re not the prince I dreamed of when I was a little kid
Nonetheless, you caught me in a jar like a fairy and screwed tight the lid
I never learned to wait to give myself to whoever had the highest bid

I wish we had ended before we started
But when I saw you coming it was like the Red Sea had parted
Now I feel as if my heart has been martyred
I thought I was clever, but it seems I have been outsmarted

I could have so easily let you be everything to me
I keep myself locked up, but I could have given you the key
Now I’m simply wishing that you would get me free
Trying so hard to let go, loosening my grasp, finally

I just want to breath, again
I just want to be free, again
I just want to be me, again
And I promise, you’ll never be able to break me, again