Nobody’s Story

Nobody’s story is simple
To get to where you are now had to come from somewhere
Even growing in perfection has moments of misdirection
Every stained glass had its broken moments

The one who has it all together had to learn to stretch to wrap their arms around the broken years
The one who shines so brightly in the light has trouble falling asleep at night because of fear of darkness
The early riser, morning conqueror never fell asleep in the first place
The one so quiet and concentrated has learned to gather scattered thoughts to keep from going crazy

We try to put everyone in a box
Believing no one can understand
That everyone’s life must be easy
Because you can watch them breathe while you feel as though you’re suffocating

Things don’t go to plan
Because the chaos of the universe already has its order
As we try to grasp it we fall apart
Developing a story to be told

Nobody’s story is simple
To get to where you are now had to come from somewhere
So tell it

Stop

Stop
For a moment
Take a deep breath
And remember

He has your back
He goes before you
He holds your hand
As he is guiding you

He is your light
In every dark place
Even when you close your eyes
He is with you

You may be walking
Through the Valley
Of the Shadow of Death
But there is nothing left to fear

You are coated
In armor
Of his holiness
Nothing is out to get you

He is ready
And waiting
For you to leave your fears
Behind you

Diving in headfirst
As you follow him
With every episode
You feel yourself fall away

But you are drawing closer
This is not a mountain
And you’ve already climbed it
You have made it

So stop
For a moment
And breathe
Because he is with you

Touching Presence

Feel it build with the music
Something I’d forgotten
Something worth chasing
I’ll catch it as I rest

Faces unfamiliar
No knowledge that they are welcoming me
The prodigal has come home

Peace washes over the room
Presence touching souls
Warming in a new light
Now open your eyes

Consume me in this fire
Burn me up
Take my bones and remake me
Into who I’m supposed to be

I have a purpose
Though I’m easily distracted
I just had to find it again
As it’s standing right in front of me

Leave the Light On

I’d say I’d leave the light on for you
But I’m not sure you’re welcome anymore
I shut this door when I was invisible
No longer hoping you would see me
Only finding out now that you’ve always seen me
You were just as afraid of me as I am
Yet I’ll continue to push you away
Because I like my heart unbroken
And you have train wreck written all over you
Like some happy accident
Or a beautiful disaster

I left the light on

You Move Me; Overtaken

You move me
And it’s like a rhythm I’ve never known before
Floating on your waves
A current that’s not even tangible
Yet I feel it

Feeling my feet go higher
Lifting off the ground
But not even leaving my chair

You are an out of body experience
And you’re all I want to experience

You are my home
No matter where I might find myself
Every road leads back to you
As my heart keeps on beating
For you

You are older than time itself
Still making every moment new
Champion of rebirth
As I’m dying to tangible infatuations
Because nothing else is real enough
After meeting you

Even with closed eyes I see you
Feel you encompassing every atom of my being
The very fabric of my existence becoming saturated with who you are
Not easily forgotten

You are the light to my darkness
Not easily hidden
Coming up in conversation
Like true love always does

Breaking free of all that held me down before
Knowing that you’re still all I ever needed
I will never be running on empty
Because I am already filled up
With every breath
Overtaken

Dig a Little Deeper

I should probably choose where I find my identity
Because it’s possible that I’ve found it more in the words that spill from my pen
Than in him who put them there in the first place

And maybe I’m just angry
Angry with him because of his people
Even though I’m one too

So even if the largest part of who I am is rooted in who he is
I deny it within myself
Because those who claim it break me more than anyone else

I found myself in the darkness
And I found him there with me
But he never meant for me to stay there

It’s in the light that this is all revealed
It’s the light that makes me want to run away

Because although it is in his light that I am made whole
It’s also in his light that I am exposed
And anytime I am seen it is distorted so that no one knows who I really am

Do I even know who I really am?
I think that I’m this broken mess
I think I need to pour everything out in ink, because I don’t have anything left to give

But who am I really?
Wasn’t I made whole?
Am I not something more than a beautiful disaster?

There must be more
So maybe I should dig a little deeper
I feel that I’ve been on this journey for so long
But maybe it’s just begun

Understanding the Light

The darkness misunderstands the light.
Heck, I even misunderstand the light and I’m part of it
I am standing, engulfed in brightness and it is getting hard to see
I’ve stumbled around, afraid to get hurt, and so I’ve found a way to save myself

I have constructed walls around me
I have enclosed myself in a tomb of protection, fully prepared to die here
I am no longer overwhelmed by the blinding light that I can’t understand
All I can see is the light of my own flame

I am preparing myself for the darkness
At least that’s what I keep telling myself
But how will my flame, my light, be seen in the darkness
When it is encased in this protective dome that I call home?

Even thought I am safe here, no one will be saved here
If no light can come in then I can see clearly
And what I see is utter isolation
And the darkness still can’t understand me

I’ve reinforced these walls so there’s no way they can knocked down from the outside
I’ve barricaded the doors that I forgot to create for myself
I put a self-destruct button on my heart to cause annihilation of emotion
I will not be destroyed

I think it’s time I was destroyed
I think it’s time I was reborn
A helpless infant, a flame in the darkness
In innocence, a light that is not misunderstood

After all, a simple infant changed the world before
The darkness wasn’t even aware it was the absence of light until He was light
He was misunderstood, but they got it
And I’ll never be the same

So I am pulling out my sledgehammer
Break me, break me, break me
Utter destruction, my walls come falling down like Jericho
Rip the lampshade off; I am bright and in your face

I won’t relent
My light is so ready to be understood
Diving into darkness
Helpless, broken, free, breathtaking

I am the California sun in November
On a crisp autumn day in Oregon
Melting the snow at springtime in the Rockies
I will shine on, shine on, shine on

This light will shine in the darkness
And the darkness will understand