Saying Goodbye

Bobby and I turned in our keys yesterday. We are finally moved out of our first little house that we shared. We no longer have to deal with crazy neighbors that hiss at our dog or throw possible poisoned bread in the backyard. But we also can no longer walk to the movie theater or to the mall to get energy drinks.

I’m not working anymore, but Bobby’s last day is Friday. Next week we say goodbye (and good riddance) to living in the South. We say goodbye to overly religious racists making up too much of the population around us. We say goodbye to people who use our Creator as an excuse for their prejudiced actions. We say goodbye to unwalkable city planning and drivers who want cyclist commuters to die simply because they’re on a bike. We say goodbye to not earning a livable wage. We say goodbye to so many things.
But we also say goodbye to good music. We say goodbye to the history of modern recording. We say goodbye to seeing zoo lions without going to a zoo whenever we want. We say goodbye to good friends. We say goodbye to cheap rent. We say goodbye to so many things.

I am so excited to say hello again. I’m excited to go home and be home and feel home. I’m excited to breath fresh air and for the shade to be cooler than the sun. I’m excited to be out of the humidity.
I’m excited to adventure again. And I’m more than excited to start somewhere new with my favorite human.

Road Trip With Me:Time to Trust

So I’m not very good at making plans.  If they fall through I get stressed out, and when I’m the reason they fall through I feel like a jerk.  I tend to keep my plans to myself, especially when they’re risky.
So now I’m in Florence.  And I have no idea what I’m doing.

I looked at apartments and requested info from a few several weeks ago.  However, I never heard back at all.  Yesterday when I rolled into town I was so out of my mind, and it was too late in the day, for me to actually call on properties.  So I decided I would take care of that today, as everyone that I know in Florence is out of town.  Surprise surprise.  But I’m fine.
However, today is Saturday.  Offices are closed on Saturdays.  And it usually takes a few days for rental approval to go through in order to move into a place.  I really don’t know what I’m doing.

Yet there has been some encouragement.  I maybe should have started with this bit, but it wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t scattered in my thoughts.  I stopped in Topeka, Kansas and saw my friend Jordie.  We ate Chick-Fil-A and talked.  Mostly I talked.  I just had so many things I needed to get out.  I told her how I sometimes felt, on the drive, that I was making the wrong decision.  But she encouraged me.  She said she wished she could do what I was doing, but she is called elsewhere.  She told me about all of these other people who are flocking to Florence.  I suddenly felt like I was part of a movement.
I stayed the night with my friend Erica and her husband.  I went to college with them and it was nice to feel safe, loved, and taken care of, if only for a night.  Erica and I caught up.  She heard my heart.  And it was good.

Last night, after my arrival, I found a place to stay and I tried not to fall apart.  This is my home now.  I just don’t understand it yet.  But I filled out more job applications and prepped for whatever is going to come next.
See, I feel as though I left a big piece of my heart behind.  I’ve never felt that way before.  Every move I make here, I haven’t yet accepted any of it as permanent.  It’s like I’m on an extended vacation.
This morning I left messages with apartment offices, I printed my resume, and I drove around Florence.  Every hotel that I stopped at with my resume (an application already filled out) gave me more encouragement.  Everyone is so nice.  I have a few interviews lined up and already had some mini interviews.  And though I’m worried, I’m not really that worried.
And today someone told me about a spoken word open mic event that happens every other week, and even offered to take me.  And there’s so much music here!  I should feel welcomed.  And I think I do.

This is the first time in my life that I have really had to trust God.  I’ve always had my family, or someone familiar, to fall back on.  I’ve always had someone who believed in me, who knew me, that I could trust to be there for me.  So, although I have heard God and he has provided for me in so many miraculous ways in the past, I have always still had one hand holding onto earth, holding onto what I know.  Well here, I don’t know anything.
I’m in Florence, and I don’t know what I’m doing.
I’m terrified.
But I’m also oh so excited.