Balance

Life is a lot about balance. You balance work and home. You balance chores and relaxation. Balance the things that need to be done, like homework, and the things you want to do, like watch Netflix or read a suspense novel.

I feel out of balance sometimes. My kitchen is cluttered because someone was working on our pipes. The work is finally finished now, but we haven’t put the effort into putting things back to normal. My living room is cluttered because every time we open a piece of mail lately, every time I open a piece of mail, it gets set on the coffee table instead of in the trash, where it most like belongs.

My room is cluttered because it always is. Nothing’s changed there.

But I don’t feel like doing anything about this, at least not right away. I’d rather do something interesting, or at least that lets me procrastinate longer. I forced myself to do the dishes today. It literally takes only five to ten minutes to sort and load the dishwasher. I finally put away the clothes that I pulled out of the dryer two days ago. Again, that couldn’t have taken more than ten minutes. So why do these tasks seem so daunting sometimes?

I understand the concept of balance. I understand what needs to be done. It just feels like a lot sometimes. Most of the time. But I really want to learn balance this year.

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Hollow

Do you ever feel hollow inside?
Like all of it has been sucked out of you?
Because I do.

I just got the news
That you might be coming back
And instead of being overjoyed
I feel what you left me with returning

It really is all my fault
I’ll shoulder the blame
I pushed you to fall
Then pushed you away when you didn’t
I bet you didn’t know that I had fallen too

But you said you’d never come back
You packed up your car
Leaving for good
There was no point in giving false hope

So I was broken for a while
Until I found my balance again
Knowing you were never for me
Even if you were never against me
I emptied myself of everything you gave me
And now I am hollow