Blogging Everyday in July|A Little Prophetic Poetry

Today at The Ark, some prophetic things happened during worship, which I’m realizing is a regular occurrence.  During this time God gave me a word, a poem, but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to share it.  Also, I’m an awkward and uncomfortable individual, so, even though I am very comfortable speaking in front of people, drawing attention to myself in order to make the sharing of a word happen is hard for me to do.  I haven’t been at The Ark long enough to cause commotion.
Anyway, I got this word, and I wasn’t sure if I should share it, but I had the feeling I should.  I just kinda told God that the attention would be put on me, I wasn’t going to take it, if he actually wanted me to share the piece.  I made eye contact, but no movement to jump in.  However, now that I am home from work, I still feel the need to share it.  Thus, here it is.

Sometimes we feel let down
And we sing words, repeating
“You will never let me down”
Feeling we are already down
Not realizing the down
Is not really down
But leading to the highest high
The upest up
It’s all just a part of the journey
And looking back
This down will be nothing
But a stepping stone
A learning block
Left behind you
As you have moved on
To the bigger and the better
So keep your head up
Your eyes forward
As he will never let you down
He will never let you stay down
In fact, you are not even down
Held aloft
In his arms

11pm

You are fickle
Inconsistent
Asking only for what I can’t give you
Forgetful
Always breaking promises
While it’s always my fault

You make me feel bad
About my schedule
Because what I do doesn’t matter to you
Unless you’re there with me
Spending the night
Not even seeing what is right in front of us

I am worried that I’m not the only one
That I will spread myself too thing
Only to find there was never enough of you to go around
Losing out to someone better
Feeling forever inferior
Although I am superior
To who you think I am

I am not the girl
Who you can call at 11pm
On random nights
Expecting me to come over
Because you’re a little drunk
When you’ve never seen me in the daylight

I am not the girl
That you can use
Again and again
Saying you want something more
Your words never matching your actions

And I wonder
Because I gave in once
Have I given in forever?

I want more
I want what you promised
I want sushi and drinks and snow when I wake up
I want  your arms to be my arms
Your heart to be my heart
I want to trust you with everything
But I can’t
And I have nothing for you anyway

Yet I still want you
While I beg for nothing at all
You’ll never find me on my knees
I’ll never come crawling back
Until you ask

Because maybe I want to be used for a little while
Maybe it’s nice to be wanted
As long as I know I don’t need you
I’ll answer your 11pm calls
Your 1am come overs
Your 9am goodbyes
Doing my best to leave you wanting

Unbroken Joy

You are the rhythm I dance to
No one else can match it
The song in my soul belongs to you
Just as I do

I sprint through fields of truth
For a moment to touch your beauty
I can’t quite grasp you in my hand
You open up my whole arms
My whole heart
Taking over my being

Here I am
Take me
All my pieces
You don’t make broken people
In your presence
I am whole

He’s Waiting

He waited
Like he knew you were coming back
He watched the road in anticipation
Until he saw your outline on the horizon

He picked up his feet and ran
Full speed to embrace in his arms
His strong arms, his loving arms
They hold you

As you left him behind
All focus followed you
And he was forgotten while he waited
But he never failed to remember you

You went off to live a wild life
With no knowledge of what happened while you were gone
But he went to work determinedly
Preparing for your return

So what is he to you?
What are you to him?
How can you feel like you matter
When everything you have is his?

You matter because you matter to him
He would give you everything
He’s already given you everything
Yet you always ask for more

He is extravagant
And he’s extravagantly in love with you
Every time you turn your back
He waits patiently for you

See, he knows you’ll always come home
Eventually
Because you know he’s the best thing for you
Yet you take him for granted

You were outside
But you put yourself out there
He’s invited you inside so many times
He even leaves the door unlocked

He never broke you
Yet you fully believe you are broken
His arms are healing
Yet you pull away from his embrace

When you packed up everything
When you went out the door
You had every intention to leave forever
But he waited anyway

How could you believe you deserve this?
Are you even worth this?
You are because he says so
So go home, he’s waiting

A Stupid Thing To Do

Falling in love is such a stupid thing to do
It’s like you’re always falling
You have no control over your course or trajectory
And you slip through the fingers of the hand that fails to catch you
And you crash into pieces on the floor

No, no, falling in love is just a dumb thing to do
And I’m starting to think falling is not love at all
Because I fall for you every time I see you
But my heart doesn’t beat for you
And you make me more broken every step of the way

I would rather take a flying leap into love
With open arms waiting to catch me
And I know those arms will never be yours
Because I’ve fallen for you too many times
You’ve made a fool out of me too many times
I have been broken too many times
To ever make the mistake of falling in love again