I don’t really care what you believe about anything, words have power.
I was just listening to a Lore podcast about Romani curses. The Romani people would hold trials when something was stolen or some other crime had been committed. In these trials they would will their community to confess to the crime, and if no one confessed, they would curse the perpetrator to an agonizing death as a group. Then the trial would be over and things would go back to normal. But Romani curses aren’t real because of any kind of black magic. They’re not real in a physical sense at all. Rather, they’re real because thinking makes it so. It’s the power of the mind. A Romani person could curse you by telling you your life will be hard and your death will be painful. And it would probably come true, not because the Romani were prophetic, but because you’d probably spend the rest of your life worrying about the curse, thus your life would probably be hard. And your death would probably be painful because you had spent your whole life worrying about your death. Your mind gave these words power. Thinking made it so.
I work with someone who doesn’t believe in encouragement, and only believes in belittlement. No one could ever measure up or be good at their job. So it’s best to make sure they know that you believe that. Call them stupid and slow. Because that’s sure to make them work better and faster. “Don’t applaud a fish for swimming.”
I had to take a class on leadership for my degree. We learned about so many leadership styles. But as an exhorter, I believe the best way to lead is to come alongside and grow with someone. Lead by being a part, rather than sitting above. Encourage and help, instead of getting upset because a mistake was made. Build up, rather than diminish.
I’ve felt very discouraged lately. Because although those under my leadership believe that I’m doing a good job; although I know that I am doing a good job, my equals still don’t see me as equal. It makes me want to move on. It makes me want to give up. It makes me want to quit. It can always be better. And I’ve believed for a long time now that if you don’t like something, change it.
Have you ever heard a lot about someone before you’ve ever met them? So you go into the relationship with preconceived notions of what everyone has already told you? I went to college with a girl that I had heard about for most of the summer before. So I met her believing several negative things about her. I knew her to be annoying before we ever spoke. I believed she was something that she isn’t because of the words others had spoken. But that girl became one of my best friends. Words have power. Until they don’t.
We should talk about each other less. We should build each other up more. We should be more careful. We shouldn’t believe that we have to be careful.
I spend so much time afraid that I’ve messed up, that I’ve ruined everything, that I forget how to love myself. I forget how to love others. I forget how to be happy. I don’t want to forget anymore.