Sometimes I don’t feel like trying anymore. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to have to deal with anyone here. It’s days like these that I’m so tempted to quit everything, pack up my car, and move back home. Because I know I’d be welcomed there with open arms. I know I would be taken care of. Simple things wouldn’t seem so damn hard.
I’m in a place where I feel that no matter what I do, I’m not good enough, not matter how I go about my tasks. Nothing ever goes to plan, so what is the point in planning anything anyway?
I’ve known for a long time that depression tends to get worse around the holidays. And I’m really feeling it. I just want this month to be over.
I need time to reassess. I need to move forward, not back.
I know that this won’t last forever. I know that I’ve felt this before and been free of it. I can and will be free again. It just takes time.