When I was in college, and even after I finished college, I was always on my computer. So if I wasn’t on Facebook, or Tumblr, or doing homework, I was usually writing. I didn’t have to make time to blog, because I was already on my computer. Now, it’s true that I am writing a little bit less, but the reason that I’m actually blogging less is that I literally have to remind myself to bring my computer with me, or I have to set aside special time when I’m at home. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it is something that I should be doing. It’s just funny that this is my problem. I don’t even watch that much Netflix anymore, at least not by myself.
It’s possible that I have been distracted, as of late. It’s possible that something in my life is worth spending time on that isn’t my blog and my dreams and a future career. It’s a different part of my future. But it has distracted me from this part of my life. I’m trying to learn how to balance it.
A little off topic, but something that I have been watching is Z: The Beginning of Everything on Amazon Prime. It’s about F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald. It’s about how they met and fell in love. It’s about his writing. I’m only a few episodes in, but I just watched the wedding episode. On the train on the way to her wedding, Zelda’s sister tells her what to expect on her wedding night. She tells her to keep the lights off. And she tells her to let her husband do what he is going to do, and to lay back and think about the magnolias in the garden. I know that things were different then, but it really annoyed me. It annoys me that there was a time where women were expected not to enjoy what happens in the bedroom. It annoys me that people still think that way. Relationships should never be about pleasing your husband.
I have a lot of thoughts. And I would love to take the time to collect them. I’m going to try to do that this month. I’m going to try to set a goal to set aside time to myself to write and be and enjoy. Because I’m worth it. My dreams are worth it. So I’ll try not to get too distracted.