Over the years I’m sure I’ve talked about guy-girl relationships before. And in this moment I’m not sure why we make a deal out of it. Can guys and girls be just friends? Why is that a question? Obviously the answer is always yes, but it’s as if so many people don’t want it to be. But that’s not even what I was planning on writing about today.
I am one of those girls who connects more with guys. I always have. Maybe it’s because I had an older brother and grew up in the middle of nowhere and liked doing things outside. “Boy things.” That’s what they called hiking and camping and riding bikes and playing in the dirt when I was a kid. Now they’re just “things that people do, regardless of their gender.” Because people are trying again to realize the equality of the genders. But again, I digress.
My mother wanted me to be a tomboy. I wasn’t allowed to be a girl scout because she hated it when she was a child. I wasn’t allowed to be a cheerleader because she didn’t want me cheering for boys. If I was going to be on the field at a sports game, I better be playing.
But now she wants me to wear lipstick and dress like a lady, so I’m not entirely sure how this all makes sense. The first time she heard me swear she blamed the “guys I hang out with.” Because curse words aren’t said by females, I guess. Sorry, I’ll stop.
When I am in a room of people, I naturally find myself sitting with a group of guys. I seek out guy friendships before girl friendships, until I become aware of it. In high school, almost all of my friends were guys and they made all the guy jokes and it didn’t matter that there was a girl in the room. In college, I had a few choice female friends, and then a lot of guy friends. That’s how it is everywhere I go in life. And this isn’t because I’m subconsciously looking for a boyfriend. I don’t date or develop feelings for most of my guy friends, and I’m sure they could say the same for me. We just get along.
And it’s not even that I don’t like hanging out with girls. My best friend is a girl. And since I’ve moved to Florence, I’ve made a point to develop some strong female friendships. A group of us have a Bible study/hang out every Thursday. And I’m so thankful for it. But part of the reason I want strong female friendships is because it seems like it’s time. Like I’ve finally started to believe this lie that guys and girls can’t be just friends. That it’s always something more on one end. Or that all of my guy friends will be intimidating to a future partner. But this isn’t true. I don’t know what is true.
I like people. I like friends, old and new. I like that we can make the world a better place if we try to. I like that although we are all flawed, we make a kaleidoscope of good intentions. I get that genders are different. But also, I don’t. I understand anatomy and thinking. But hearts and souls are the same. Can’t we all just be friends?