I need to remember how you broke me
Into pieces
Throwing me off the deep end
Only to be brought in with the tide
Brought back to you

I need to remember how  you asked for my heart
Only to hold it too tightly
Crushing it in your palm
Letting the dust blow away in the wind

I need to remember your empty promises
Your lies
Your forgetfulness
Every moment you denied the moment before

But instead I’ll remember mornings
Wrapped in your arms
Leaving you at an hour that no one wants to be awake
And you’re never even angry at me
For waking you up
For holding you close
For keeping you warm
You were my winter

Instead I’ll remember spending too much on dinner
Being too full to move
And too full on life to care

I’ll remember drunken kisses
And drunken conversations
And drunken mistakes
Because for a while, every moment was drunken

I’ll remember loving you
I’ll remember losing myself in you
Trying to leave you again and again
Until this final goodbye
Where you’ll be left behind

Because you’re worth a lot
Just not enough
To let go of my dreams
Only to hold you closer
As you hold me down

So I’ll try to remember your brokenness
That broke me
Rather than everything else
That has made me whole