So I’m not very good at making plans. If they fall through I get stressed out, and when I’m the reason they fall through I feel like a jerk. I tend to keep my plans to myself, especially when they’re risky.
So now I’m in Florence. And I have no idea what I’m doing.
I looked at apartments and requested info from a few several weeks ago. However, I never heard back at all. Yesterday when I rolled into town I was so out of my mind, and it was too late in the day, for me to actually call on properties. So I decided I would take care of that today, as everyone that I know in Florence is out of town. Surprise surprise. But I’m fine.
However, today is Saturday. Offices are closed on Saturdays. And it usually takes a few days for rental approval to go through in order to move into a place. I really don’t know what I’m doing.
Yet there has been some encouragement. I maybe should have started with this bit, but it wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t scattered in my thoughts. I stopped in Topeka, Kansas and saw my friend Jordie. We ate Chick-Fil-A and talked. Mostly I talked. I just had so many things I needed to get out. I told her how I sometimes felt, on the drive, that I was making the wrong decision. But she encouraged me. She said she wished she could do what I was doing, but she is called elsewhere. She told me about all of these other people who are flocking to Florence. I suddenly felt like I was part of a movement.
I stayed the night with my friend Erica and her husband. I went to college with them and it was nice to feel safe, loved, and taken care of, if only for a night. Erica and I caught up. She heard my heart. And it was good.
Last night, after my arrival, I found a place to stay and I tried not to fall apart. This is my home now. I just don’t understand it yet. But I filled out more job applications and prepped for whatever is going to come next.
See, I feel as though I left a big piece of my heart behind. I’ve never felt that way before. Every move I make here, I haven’t yet accepted any of it as permanent. It’s like I’m on an extended vacation.
This morning I left messages with apartment offices, I printed my resume, and I drove around Florence. Every hotel that I stopped at with my resume (an application already filled out) gave me more encouragement. Everyone is so nice. I have a few interviews lined up and already had some mini interviews. And though I’m worried, I’m not really that worried.
And today someone told me about a spoken word open mic event that happens every other week, and even offered to take me. And there’s so much music here! I should feel welcomed. And I think I do.
This is the first time in my life that I have really had to trust God. I’ve always had my family, or someone familiar, to fall back on. I’ve always had someone who believed in me, who knew me, that I could trust to be there for me. So, although I have heard God and he has provided for me in so many miraculous ways in the past, I have always still had one hand holding onto earth, holding onto what I know. Well here, I don’t know anything.
I’m in Florence, and I don’t know what I’m doing.
But I’m also oh so excited.