I don’t hold grudges often. That’s not to say that I’m not capable of holding them, because I definitely have before; I just tend to forgive quickly.
I have been hurt a lot. I’ve been wronged. But I’ve also done a lot of wrongs. I’ve hurt a lot of people. Because we’re all humans. When I screw up, I want to be taken back. I want there to be forgiveness and for the past to not be held against me. So I hope that I do the same.
I’ve been seeing someone. Since November, I’ve spent a lot of time with someone who means a lot to me. We’ve tried to not make it what it was because I’m planning on moving and there are so many other issues involved that I’m not going to talk about. For a while he was pushing me for something that I couldn’t give him. At some point I must have changed my mind, but now he denies ever pushing for that.
So he had a girl visit from out of a town for a few days. I’ve known that she was coming from pretty much the day that he and I met. At one point he told me that she didn’t matter to him, but that was apparently just a drunken lie, because he slept with her.
I can’t quite say that he cheated on me, because although we set boundaries, we never really defined our boundaries. And you know what? I’ll forgive him. I’ll take him back.
If I was on the outside I would say a million times how stupid that is. But there’s more to it. I care more about the time we still have until I leave than I do about the pain that I am currently going through. I still want this person in my life, in whatever capacity.
I will forgive quickly, because there is too little time to hang on to anger.
We, as humans, do so many stupid things to each other. We’re all a bunch of sinners. really. Yet God always takes us back. He forgives us so quickly. He doesn’t hold grudges when we make mistakes. He just loves us. And he chooses us every time.
So I’m just gonna leave this here. Because I am far too honest of a person.