I should probably choose where I find my identity
Because it’s possible that I’ve found it more in the words that spill from my pen
Than in him who put them there in the first place
And maybe I’m just angry
Angry with him because of his people
Even though I’m one too
So even if the largest part of who I am is rooted in who he is
I deny it within myself
Because those who claim it break me more than anyone else
I found myself in the darkness
And I found him there with me
But he never meant for me to stay there
It’s in the light that this is all revealed
It’s the light that makes me want to run away
Because although it is in his light that I am made whole
It’s also in his light that I am exposed
And anytime I am seen it is distorted so that no one knows who I really am
Do I even know who I really am?
I think that I’m this broken mess
I think I need to pour everything out in ink, because I don’t have anything left to give
But who am I really?
Wasn’t I made whole?
Am I not something more than a beautiful disaster?
There must be more
So maybe I should dig a little deeper
I feel that I’ve been on this journey for so long
But maybe it’s just begun