Inspiration

I keep looking for inspiration, but all I can think about is how I’m believing I’m mad at you, because I wish I felt nothing for you at all
You snuck up on me, with your best friend jokes and agreeing that I’m cute and that you’re glad I’m not a twig
Your definition of beauty is better than mine, I find, even though I still can’t quite trust it
I’m believing that I’m broken because I’d rather be that than nothing at all
But that is what I am to you, isn’t it? Nothing at all?
I don’t give out chances easily, and you used up your only one when you didn’t show up after you said that you would
But I’m wondering, did you even say you would?
I swear we had plans that you had forgotten, but your words must not be set in stone like mine are
I’ll stay away now, and soon I’ll be far gone, 3 weeks, forgotten
I don’t fall too easily, but definitely too quickly and I’m so used to picking myself up that I’ve forgotten what really falling feels like
I’ve forgotten what being caught feels like
I’ve forgotten what safety feels like, because I always wriggle my way out of any arms that hold me
I don’t expect your arms to hold me
And maybe I don’t even expect you to notice me, though I believed you already had
So maybe that’s where our problem is, that there isn’t any problem at all because there wasn’t any us to begin with
I could only hope
Because you had it all but one, with your fast car and fast music and fast jokes followed by a fast smile and a fast compliment, calling me an angel
If I’m an angel, than what are you?
My wings have been clipped and I can’t fly on my own, but I refuse to let you hold me down
Throwing my bag over my shoulder, my airplane gate is calling
I’m in the sky with this goodbye

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