“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12
I rarely start out a post with a verse; or, in this case, start out a rant with a verse. But this is something that’s been coming back to me a lot lately.
See, the truth is, I spent four years of my life in college studying ministry and theology. And that makes me no better than anyone else. But I do know what I believe about life and God and where my place is. However, I also realize that I am only 22, which means I am young and have a lot to learn and a lot of life experiences to obtain, so I hope I don’t seem like I have it all together.
Lately it seems that people only see the latter. They see my youth and therefore I must be stupid. If I have an opinion, it must be wrong, it must be lectured out of me, because I can’t possibly know anything. In school here, it feels like people are trying to mold me into some mirror image of themselves, which is impossible. I get that other people have degrees in other things, obviously. My degree is not the highest because I can’t even do anything in the natural world with it. I still haven’t fully figured out why God had me get it. But whatever.
If I say an opinion that disagrees with someone’s writing, I am lectured and told that I should make sure that person knows I don’t agree, or find a way to make sure I think the same way. But I’m totally fine with other people having differing opinions than me. So why aren’t other people okay with it?
I don’t have to be right, I have to know what I believe. I can tell people what I believe if they ask, but they don’t have to freaking agree. Does that make sense?
So stop lecturing me. Stop trying to make me think you’re right, just because you’re older, because age does not always equal wisdom. Literally, don’t talk to me at all if you’re just going to put me down. Because that’s all you do, is put me down.
It’s shit like this that makes me feel that I don’t belong here. I worry that I am a city girl who’s afraid of people, so I’m living in a tiny mountain town again. I miss people who understand me and like my music and don’t get offended too easily.
It’s really sad to me that the Christians in my life have a bigger problem with what I believe and who I am and how I interact than all of the other people that surround me. Where did all the love go?
I need patience. People need to stop looking down on me, but this verse has a second half. I need to set an example. So, Lord, give me strength.