Commitment

Tobias wasn’t the type to have a girlfriend.  He was a musician, and he was good-looking, and he knew he could have almost any girl he wanted.  He used this to his advantage.  All his friends knew that it was a rarity for him to commit to any one girl, or to even call one again after he got what he wanted from her.  But he was so smooth, and he knew how to pursue a girl just enough to leave her wanting more.

Tobias  met Sam at a gig she was playing.  She was visiting her hometown for a few weeks while on break from college, and so she decided to play a few local shows.  He heard her and had to know her.  He didn’t realize that they had actually met before.
Tobias was only two years older than Sam, and so they were in high school together.  They had never hung out, but they had a lot of friends in common.  However, Sam was one to be easily forgotten, and definitely was not the person she was in high school when Tobias reentered her life.
Tobias introduced himself and they talked about music and tattoos, and then Sam went back to her parents’ house for the night, not overly affected by the meeting.
A few weeks went by and Sam returned to LA where she went to school.  She got a facebook friend request from Tobias, thought nothing of it, and so accepted.  He then immediately sent her a message, saying they should get together and jam.
“Okay, but you realize I live in LA now, right?”  Sam replied back.
“You do?  Oh… well when are you coming back to visit?  I would love to hang out,” Tobias asked her.
“I’m not sure, probably not for a month or so.  But we can definitely get together and play some music when I do.”  Sam was flattered at the pursuit.  They exchanged numbers and talked for another couple months until Sam returned.
They played a few gigs and Tobias and Sam drove around in his truck afterward.  They parked off on some backroads, sat close, and talked for a few hours.  Tobias didn’t kiss Sam that night though.
It wasn’t long before Tobias began pulling away.  He told Sam that she didn’t need a guy like him in her life, that he wasn’t good for her.  She was annoyed, but decided not to pursue it further.
Every few months Tobias would send her a text and they would start talking again, but they never really hung out when she visited.  Sam had kind of given up on Tobias.
A year from their first meeting, Sam was back home for Christmas, and was working a local retail job for some extra money.  Tobias asked her to hang out when she got off work one night, and they drove to a park and talked and listened to music.  They were going to go on a walk, but it was much too cold out.
“I can’t think of anything to do, what should we do?” Tobias questioned.
“I don’t know.  Let’s do something spontaneous!”  Sam proclaimed.
And then Tobias kissed her, mid-sentence.  “You said do something spontaneous,” he teased.
They went on like this, talking and making out, for another hour before it was time for Sam to go home.
After that night, Tobias stopped talking to Sam.  She texted him to hang out and he would say he wasn’t feeling well, make excuses, or just not respond at all.  After two weeks, Sam got the message.  Tobias said he wasn’t the type to have a girlfriend, and he meant it.

After Sam returned to school for the next semester, she found out Tobias had started dating someone.  She was hurt, broken.  She decided it wasn’t healthy to have him in her life anymore, so she got rid of every trace of him.  If he texted her, she wouldn’t respond.  She deleted his number and deleted him from facebook.  She knew she was never moving him, so having him in her life didn’t matter anymore.

More than a year went by and Sam went home for her last spring break ever to see her ex-boyfriend, who was also one of her best friends, play a gig.  The thing is, Tobias was also in the band.  His girlfriend had also come to see him play, and Sam and her started chatting.  After the show, all four of them went to a diner and had dessert.  What could have been awkward wasn’t.  Sam found out that Tobias and his girlfriend were planning on moving to Seattle at the end of the summer, just like she was.  She wondered if she would run into them there.

After Sam graduated from college, she had plans to work on a ranch for the summer and then move to Seattle after she had saved some money.  However, her dad got really sick, so she decided to move closer to home.  After being in her own place the next town over for the summer, Sam realized that she needed to stay until her dad was healthy again, pushing her Seattle plans back exponentially.  But she was content; she knew she was where she needed to be.
While browsing for wine at a local grocery store, Sam ran into Tobias, and found out that his girlfriend had dumped him, so his Seattle plans had changed as well.  She went home and found a brand new friend request from him.  Sam assumed this time would be different.  He had had a girlfriend for more than a year after all.
She added him and he again immediately asked her to hang out.  He took her to the movies, they went on a walk, and he never tried to kiss her or anything.  She was happy for the fresh start.
He was supposed to come to her place for drinks, but ended up getting called into work, and Sam worried that Tobias was pulling away again.  She didn’t want to go through it all again, so she began to allow herself to give up on him again.
However, a few days later Tobias invited Sam down for drinks and dinner.  They ordered in, had a couple beers, played some guitar, and watched Seinfeld on his computer.  Then Tobias kissed her again.  He was rough and urgent.  Sam didn’t want to sleep with him, but was not sure of her willpower.  They finally got too tired and just layed together.  Sam knew she needed to go home before things went too far.  Tobias walked her to her car and kissed her goodnight, telling her to text him when she got home.
“Home :)” She sent.
Hours later he responded “:)”
That was the last honest communication they really had.

Sam knew Tobias probably couldn’t be her boyfriend, but she couldn’t handle having him break her again.  She knew they needed to talk.
“Tobias, here’s the deal.  I don’t expect you to be my boyfriend.  But you can’t make out with me then pull away.  I’m fine with hanging out and hooking up occasionally, but I need to know that’s what this is.  You can’t treat me like a one-night-stand because that’s not what I am.  Either we’re friends, dating, or nothing.  You can’t just waltz in and out of my life like this.  So if you’re not going to change, then I guess it’s over forever.”

Where do they go from here?

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