In Writing

I’m sorry that I’m the worst
It’s hard for me to say words out loud that mean anything
It’s easier to just write them down
Or keep them bottled up…

Maybe I’m worried that once I start speaking I’ll never be able to stop
The words will come spilling out too freely
My insanity exposed for the world to see
I’m not ready to be looked at that way again

So I carry with me my own form of protection
Ready to shut out the world when it all gets too hazy
But sometimes I’m seen, my invisibility fading
Leaving you caught in the crossfire

It all used to seem so easy
I didn’t used to be so caught up in my mind
If you had seen me then, you’d never know me now
But I’ve forgotten who I was back then

I have learned how strong I can be
As long as I’m only alone in my weakness
Because when the holes in my armor become exposed
That becomes all I am, all anyone sees

I promise I’m okay still, that I always will be
There is no need for help within me
Even when everything inside of me screams to just let go
I won’t stop holding on

There’s a sort of music about it
The kind that rises out of tragedy
But I am no longer some tragic story
I am my own song, even if it is still being written

I just don’t want to interrupt the silence
It’s grown too vast as it stretches between us
If I break, maybe I’ll break something important
So I’ll just let it build around me

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One thought on “In Writing

  1. Nezra's Opiate

    Wow. I hope you let your words spill out one day like a damn geyser. Whoever, sees your insanity will be grateful. Most of this world is crazy, we just put up fronts every now and then lol
    Good piece 🙂

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