It’s amazing how much can change in a year. Think about where you were a year ago. Last year at this time I was living in Eureka doing an internship. I had a year left of college and I didn’t know what I would do after that. I played with the idea of figuring out a spoken word tour, but I’m not ambitious enough to bring that idea to fruition. I started formulating what eventually became the plan to move to Portland post graduation. I made friends that I hoped to keep for the rest of my life.
A year ago a pair of my friends had recently gone through a breakup, making their relationship somewhat less than friendship. There was so much anger in that situation, but looking at them now, one of them is about to get married and the other one is happily spinning toward engagement. A year ago neither of them would have expected this.
A year ago I thought that at this point I might have my life somewhat figured out. I thought I would have my book on its way to publishing. I thought I would have a cool job or some other thing going for me, and that I would be living in a cool city like Portland, sipping coffee and hanging out at pubs with my hip friends.
The day I left the camp in Nevada City I had a conversation with one of the other employees. He told me that Chicago is on his heart. He said that he feels God is sending him there, just not yet. He knows he’ll be there eventually and that he might invoke change, but he has some things to figure out first. Portland is on my heart. I feel like it’s where I belong, possibly where I am being sent, but maybe not yet.
I came home, because right now this is where I am supposed to be. I’m hoping to take a job and move up to Mammoth, but I really don’t know what the future holds for me. No, I don’t know how I’m going to pay off my student loans. No, I don’t know when my book will be finished. No, I don’t know when I’ll move to Portland, or England, or anywhere else. But I think that’s all okay, because who really has their life all together, especially at 21?
So, I’m taking one year. One year to make no plans, but to just see where life takes me, where God takes me. Where will I be in a year? I don’t know, and I’ve decided not to care. I need to focus on what is in front of me. A year of freedom, maybe.