I am a planner when it comes to my life. I knew what college I was going to from the time I was 15. I knew I was going to intern the summer before college as soon as I found out that was an option. Since January, I was pretty sure I was going to work at a camp in Northern California to save money and then move to Portland come August. All my plans, although some of them stressful, have been there to keep me sane. I started work at the camp last week, however, I had to learn that plans sometimes have to change.
I was sitting in the airport a week ago Saturday when I found out that my mother had been re-diagnosed with cancer. I tried calling home, but none of my calls would go through. I felt in my heart that I needed to go home, instead of going to camp, but I ignored it, thinking it was just a fleeting thought. When work at camp started I felt out of place and uncomfortable, but that’s to be expected in any new place. By day two I was starting to feel very depressed and that I needed to go home to help out and be with my family. Day three I called my dad and talked about coming home. Then I quit and drove home. That was Wednesday.
I always swore that I would never move back to Bishop. Now I have a job in town. I’m still saving money to move to Portland, but that might be postponed indefinitely. I feel like my life just got to the harsher parts of the roller coaster, and I’m wondering what God has in store for me. Right now I’m trusting Him to heal my mom and to take care of me. I’m expecting Him to point me in the right direction, but there is so much confusion. I have had the longest week of my life.