Valentines Day was last Friday, so I guess this is appropriate.
I was wondering today what love actually is. How do you know if you love someone? How is love different from liking someone a lot? When do you suddenly cross the line from really liking someone to loving them?
I mean, I know that I love my friends… or do I? I say that I love them, but I don’t get fuzzy feelings about them. My judgment is not clouded because I love them. I know I can trust them and that I can tell them things, even if I’m annoying myself. But is that love? Or is that just trust? I prefer my roommate, Michelle, over most people; I like her more than most people. I tell her I love her. She knows I love her, but what really is this love?
I don’t have a boyfriend, but I know what it’s like to like someone a lot. I’m not going to be super open about my relationships as they develop, but I know that I’ve never been in love. I think I thought I was in love once, but I would rather be where I am now, with the people I’m with right now, than back in that relationship, because it wasn’t really love. Is love just a feeling? Or is it more than that? Do I have to know a lot about someone to love them? Because usually I’m more fond of a person when I first meet them than when I know them really well. When I’m comfortable with someone I don’t get excited to spend time with them unless I haven’t for a while. So am I more likely to think I love someone when I first get those feelings of attachment and excitement, then later on when we’re both comfortable and just like being together? Where does the love come in. Maybe this is something I can’t understand because I always end relationships before they get super deep. Maybe I don’t know how to love someone.
I say I love my family. They say they love me. But isn’t that obligatory? Because I don’t really like my family, as a whole. I like them as individuals, but we aren’t close by any means and I’d never feel comfortable enough to have deep, personal conversations with them. Having conversations about theology and facts are deep, but they don’t touch my heart. So what is love? Is this a different kind of love?
And then there’s God. He is love. He’s the King of love. He created everything and everyone out of love. And then, when we messed up, He didn’t destroy us; He gave His Son for us, out of love. He chose to redeem us, rather than starting anew. What does that feel like? What does it feel like to love something or someone so much that you would rather do whatever you could to save it/them then destroy it and start again? I guess I haven’t felt that yet. I’m more likely to run away when love begins to tighten it’s grasp.
So what is love (baby don’t hurt me), really?