Making the First Move

There is a dichotomy within society, at least within the Christian society, of the equality between men and women.  Obviously America strives to be an egalitarian state where women and men have the same rights.  Women in ministry shouldn’t even be an issue (although in some denominations it still is), but yet women in relationships seems to still make us the weaker sex.  Yes, in some ways this is entirely our fault but it also seems to be what we are told to do.

My mentor from high school, who still mentors me when I’m home, has a strong belief that men should be the “spiritual leaders” in every relationship.  Why?  Yeah, Adam was created first, but Mary was the one who carried and raised the Son of God.  You’re only considered Jewish if your mother was, not your father.  So why do men have to be the leaders in the relationship?  Why are girls told to, and expected to, sit around and wait for a guy to ask them on a date?  Especially when both parties are obviously interested?

A friend of mine once  told me that his youth pastor told the girls and guys in the youth group to treat each other the same.  Instead of the usual “don’t date” sermon, he told the girls how hard it is for most guys to build up enough bravery to ask a girl out due to the fear of rejection.  He told them they if they didn’t want to be judged based on their looks then they should not be judging guys that fancy them before they give them the benefit of the doubt.  In the same way, the guys shouldn’t be asking every girl out on a date, but instead should wait until they truly believe they like a girl, and then treat her respectfully.

I’d like to apply this theory and turn it upside down as well.  If we don’t want guys to be too afraid to ask us out, we should also not be too afraid to ask guys out, or at least tell them how we feel, right?  No more sitting around a moping because a guy acts like he likes you, or confuses you, or whatever.  Just tell him you like him, and don’t be all sad if he doesn’t feel the same.  Say something like this:

Hi.  I like you.  And I know that neither of us really know what we’re doing with our lives, but maybe we can figure something out.  You act like you like me, but maybe you don’t.  Either way, it’s okay.  I just figured I’d get this out in the open.

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