New Beginnings

I run the poetry club at my college.  Sometimes we do free writes, so this is a ten minute free write on the word prompt “new beginnings.”  I like the way it turned out.

New Beginnings

This is new.  This is beginning.
But I liked my old beginning
Because I already had it planned out in front of me.
I counted down the days when my beginning would start.

But what now?
I wish the days were endless so this ending would not prompt a new beginning
This beginning is uncertain and frankly terrifying
Filled with uncertainty I realize this is life.

You see, this beginning before this new beginning was an easy beginning.
I had dreams and I had no reason to believe they wouldn’t come true.
I still thought life was easy
But cotton candy clouds don’t form for me anymore.

I find myself standing in the rain even when it isn’t falling.
I hear my future fade away, even though it still is calling.
I’m heading out even if I’m knocked down; toward something big, I swear I’m crawling.
Keep spilling words out, even if they don’t make sense because for time, I’m stalling.

Should I put my dreams on hold?
Is my future turning cold?
Am I on my own now?  Oh so bold
Life won’t be easy, or at least that’s what I was told.

This is new.  This is beginning.

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