It’s raining in the valley. This doesn’t really have anything to do with anything, but rain is a rarity in the high desert, so I thought I’d document it.
About a week ago I read this article: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/why-i-decided-not-have-kids
It made a lot of sense to me and gave me hope for my future, as I too have no desire for children, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
I was discussing this with a friend and mentor of mine. She completely disagrees and thinks that all Christian women should have children, or at least adopt them. However, I have not a single maternal bone in my body. I fully believe that this world is populated enough, and while I’m willing to help wherever I can, raising children just isn’t my calling, and I don’t expect that to change. I know that I am still young, but that doesn’t mean the dreams, the God given dreams, that I have for myself are false. Jeremiah was only a teenager when he began his career as one of the most remembered and quoted prophets in the Bible. And let us not forget when Paul told Timothy to not allow people to look down on him because he was young. So why would my desire to write and travel and not have children be any less than what is best for me simply because I’m not old yet and I’m still single? That’s just one thought that I have been having lately.
The other thought on my mind is something that I may have brought up before, but it has to do with equality not only in a relationship, but in the pursuit of one. Why is it that men have to be the initiators in any pursuit? Why is it so frowned upon for a girl to ask a guy out on a date, or for her to let him know that she likes him? Why is it okay for a guy to end a friendship if a girl expresses more than a platonic interest in him, but girls often stay friends with guys that want to date them and it not be a big deal? If a guy asked me out on a date right now, and it wasn’t going to happen, I wouldn’t drop his friendship, so why is there some expectation that some guy would do the same to me.
A couple weeks ago a friend of mine put up a facebook status that said this:
I think people are too hung up on the differences between men and women. In some ways, yes, men are considerably different than women. But there are times when people tell me about something that is distinctly female, and I can’t help but notice the similarities to characteristics of myself.
For instance, I have heard a number of times people saying that “Women want to be pursued.” Duh. Men want to be pursued too. Does the Bible say that’s wrong? Song of Songs is about a whole lot of a woman pursuing a man. Or how about when women pretend to push someone away, hoping the man will pursue them even more. Yes, that happens. And men pretend not to notice, but I would purport that men share that feeling. That they also want to know that a woman will pursue them even when they aren’t asking. And I would also purport that this is not bad or unbiblical. It is all part of humanity. And as women and men become equals, perhaps the role of pursuer will also proportion itself equally.
This is coming from a guy. Who says it’s not bad for girls to ask out guys in the same way that it’s not bad for guys to ask out girls. It is okay for me to like someone who is not “pursuing” me. Someone who has feelings for me, but is afraid to do anything about it is not a coward, if I am afraid to do anything about having feelings for anyone that I have had feelings for.
It’s late and I am tired, so my thoughts may be jumbled. But basically girls, you don’t have to have kids if you don’t want them, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. Also, if you like a guy, freakin’ tell him. And I’ll do the same. Just not right now because it is late and I am tired. I’ll think about it more tomorrow.
Also, it’s my birthday on Friday.