Make Yourself at Home

I’m interning in Eureka for the summer.  I’ve been up here for two weeks, living with a host family, and it has certainly been an adventure.  Eureka’s climate is different than any that I have ever lived in before, but so far I like it.  The people are interesting and I have made some friends.

There is one thing that I have noticed though, and it is not something that pertains only to Eureka.  People want you to make yourself at home.  In the house I’m staying at, I have been instructed to make myself at home.  At my pastor’s house, I must make myself at home.  Every house I’ve visited, the host has told me to make myself at home.  I don’t think I’ve been at home anywhere.

Growing up, I’ve always lived in my room.  I didn’t do much outside of my room, and when people are around, I aim to make as little sound as possible, apart from playing music.  I walk quietly through the house.  I quietly get dishes and food in the kitchen.  I quietly set my glass down on the counter.  I don’t want to disturb.

I do the same thing most places I stay or visit.  Unless other people are already in the room I try to be silent.  If I know I’m the only one home, then I can relax, but I still don’t “make myself at home.”

Maybe this is why I like to move around so much.  I have been described as restless.  I like to leave.  This could be why I avoid relationships, why I can’t keep a steady boyfriend, and why my longest relationship was long distance.

I like change.  The three years it’s been since I cut my hair have been difficult, because I like to change my hair.  I’ve still dyed it, and I still look for different ways to change it.

My style changes frequently, and the people I hang out with the most change as well.  I’m not good at holding constants.  Why?

How does one truly make themselves at home?  Where is my home, really?

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