Some Inner Gleamings

Hush… Can you hear it in the silence?
Can you feel the weight of the world lifting off your shoulders?
Stress free, at ease
Because someone else is holding it
In His arms everything’s okay and it’s not your fault.

It’s funny though
It’s funny because I can’t relax
Every time I open my eyes I can see the world crashing down around me.
And you might be perceiving that I have a twisted sense of humour
And it’s true really
Because I find laughter in the saddest stories and movies can’t make me cry

Brick by heavy brick
I build up my walls around me so I can feel safe… and secure
Anxiously attached I fear I’ll never know a love that is honest… and pure
But that’s okay, who needs love anyway?
That’s one place the Beatles got it wrong.

I’m sick of loud opinions trying to scream their way into the lovely aspects of my life.
I try to block them out
But I’ve noticed every new person, who I thought was the best person, tries to change me into another carbon copy of every other hipster freak in America.
So what if I don’t like rap music, or overrated chivalry, or sappy love movies like The Vow?
I didn’t ask to be treated like a helpless princess or a damsel in distress
I can take care of myself, but really… I can’t take care of myself

And if you drill a hole through the bricks in my walls you might catch a glimpse of a boy (ahem, a man) who makes me smile
A big toothy grin, something like a crocodile
But I think it’s all pointless anyway
I’m not one to stick around, no I’m not one to stay
I’ve got my own head on my shoulders and my plans are kicking into gear one day… at a time
There’s no room for him in that box that is my life.

I’m the queen of moving on and the master of remembrance
But I find the more I search, the further I’m forgotten
I hate to be left behind so usually I do the leaving… first

10 seconds left on the clock and I’m out the door and down the block
When my feet hit the ground I just couldn’t stop
And wait
For you to catch up

Pardon me as I disappear
I’m sorry, I need a second, I’m being torn apart
And maybe I need a fresh start
I’d keep holding on, but I just don’t have the heart

Slowly my mind begins to stop… racing… so… fast… forward
My pen quits sliding, gliding across this paper
I’d say this in my end, we’ll find out later
I’m gone

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