Tonight I was ignored again.  Except I wasn’t ignored at all.
I felt empty and alone, but there were people who say they love me sitting all around.

Why?  Why do I feel like this?  And why, when I ask for help, do I push it away?

I was thinking yesterday about how great I’ve been doing, about how positive I’ve been.  About how life has seemed like it’s worth it.  I’ve been learning from God.   I’ve been learning to be thankful.  But then tonight happened, or rather today, and I felt left out, worthless, and alone all over.  It’s been triggered again.

And because of that I want to die all over again.