Sparrow

I try so hard to get out of my head that I don’t even notice the sparrow falling.
The sparrow that was sent to you, that you enticed and promised to care for.  You tried to give it a home, and thought you were nurturing it when you clipped its wings.  But then you took that sparrow high.

How can I save that sparrow when I’m trapped within my own mind, continuously shocked by splashes of color and unspoken anguish; maybe some drops of happiness here and there?  The sun shines in and paints an invisible rainbow whose pot of gold is only ash.

Rolling, tumbling, somersaulting through the air, that little sparrow drops like a rock, forgetting all she’s learned and unable to spread her wings.
I would run to catch my little sparrow bird, but I am tied up by words like “princess” and being told I’m someone I’m not.
And when that little sparrow dies, you will come to me, blaming me, telling me I only make excuses, and then go off, looking for a new project, still in search of the prince who will never come.

Bluebird, baby, darling, sing me a song and spin me around.  Let me forget.  Because this sparking reality is too much to live for, and not enough to keep.
There you go bluebird, fly away from here.  Save your sparrow and abandon me here, as I play that soft melody over again on these ivory keys.  If I see you in my dreams I’ll once again awake to the wet, salty mess pouring down my cheeks.

And you try to say we’re a family.  Well families slam doors, scream and lose all love.  There is no room in my soul to be part of a family, especially a sparrow killer.

I can hear the gnashing of your teeth as you scream out my name when you realize what that sparrow was.  But it’s too late now, you dropped her.
She’s fallen through the greasy, green sky, landing in the oil stained wasteland you wish could be home.
She can’t fly, there’s nowhere to run, no place to hide, and she’s gobbled up by the Cheshire Cat as he’s chasing the white hare who’s never on time.
Think twice before naming here Wonderland, because Alice, when you open your eyes, I’m already gone.

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