I have several guy friends at my school who call themselves gentlemen. They assume that I’m only attracted to jerks, because I don’t like their gentlemanly acts. Well, although it is true that not every guy I’ve liked has been the nicest, this does not negate the fact that I’m not a delicate princess flower that can’t do things on my own.
Example: My lovely friends have a need to open car doors for me. Are they going through the door? No. Are they getting in my way and going out of their way to annoy me by not letting me open my own door? Yes. Are we on a date? No. To me, it’s only annoying when a guy tries to be a “gentleman” by opening my car door. It’s a different story when it’s a door they are walking through and they open for me as well. That doesn’t bother me at all, because it’s both nice and it makes sense. Understand?
Example 2: I can carry things. If I’m carrying a box or luggage etc, there are certain guys who think it’s “gentlemanly” to come up to me and offer to take it. Is it heavy? No. Is it too heavy for me to carry? No, if it was, I would have asked someone for help or would have gladly accepted the help offered. When a part of the male gender pesters me to carry something that I already have multiple times, you know what it says to me? “Sara, you’re weak, let me carry the heavy things. In fact, let me carry all the things. Or even better, let me carry you so that you don’t hurt yourself while walking.” Do they not realize that I’m a lot stronger than I look. It’s almost offensive when guys are surprised by how much I can lift.
Example 3: Lastly, I can play sports. I’m not the best, but when a guy freaks out because we both went for the basketball at the same time and ran into each other, that pisses me off. Yeah, I don’t want them to go super hard on me because, well, I suck, but I also don’t want them acting like I’m weak and I don’t know what’s going on etc. I have an older brother. I’ve played sports my whole life. I can probably out run most of my friends. I’m not dainty.
Example 4: My friends who believe they are the most gentlemanly, well, they don’t put pants on, even though they know they have female friends coming over. This doesn’t bother me, exactly, but I just see it as a hit against their gentleman points. My friends that have been labeled “jerks” by these “gentlemen” are always fully dressed when I hang out with them. Just something to think about.
Basically, those who believe they are gentlemen, need to realize that it is not gentlemanly to act like a female is weak. It’s just annoying. And yes, some girls may like that, but I don’t. Plain and simple. It needs to end.
B-t-dubs, this might be a reason that I’m single.