3 Reasons Why I Don’t Go On Dates

To preface this, I have had several boyfriends in my life.  However, I have only been on one real date, and I don’t want to count it because it was terrible.  But I’ll get to that later.

As I started my senior year of high school, I like this guy that was a close friend of mine.  However, I had spent the last year denying that we would ever have feelings for each other.  Anyway, we had been hanging out a lot and everyone but us knew that we liked each other.  So, one night after youth group, this guy, Cristian, walked up to me and asked me this question.

“Hey, so, do you wanna go to a movie tomorrow night?  And get food?  I’ll pay.”

I was like, “Sure.”

So I went home and, being a 17 year old girl, I told my parents that Cristian had asked me to go to the movies and get food.  He said he’d pay.  My mom asked if it was a date.  Of course it wasn’t, or else he would have told me.   Well…  it was a date.

I had a car, and my license; Cristian did not.  So I had to pick him up.  We ended up walking down town for a while and wandering around the art gallery before the movie started.  We saw District 9, it was AWESOME.  Then we decided to go to Denny’s, because that’s where all the classy, cool kids in Bishop go.  We got there and Cristian ran out of money, so I had to pay for the food, of course.

I still swear that was not a date, even though Cristian tries to say it was.  I drove, and I paid for food.  Pfft.


Probably March or April my senior year, a friend I had gotten to know in my junior history class the year before, was asking me to hang out.  I went snowboarding for the day and he called me around 8:30 or 9 that Saturday night.  I had been wanting to hang out with him so it was no big deal.  I met him in the Kmart parking lot (I know, classy), and we left my car there.  He was driving this old jeep that didn’t have windows besides the windshield and it could only go like 50mph.  But it was fun.

He drove me up to this plateau where we could look over the valley.  It was beautiful, because the moon was so bright and I could see the Owen’s river winding through all that the light touched.

We sat there, with our feet hanging off the cliff, and we talked for and hour or so.  I love just sitting and talking to people, I feel that it’s the best way to get to know someone, even if your conversation doesn’t really go anywhere.

Eventually, it was time that I go home, so he took me back to my car.  As we said our goodbyes, I thanked him for hanging out.  After all, it was fun, and I was pleased that I had finally gotten to hang out with him.  He looks at me and says this:

“I had a lot of fun tonight.  Thank you for hanging out with me, this is the best date I’ve ever been on.”

I didn’t know it was a date!  No one told me.  I thought we were just hanging out, you know, like people do.  I was in shock.  Maybe I need to learn to decipher date questions better.


The only real date I have ever been on was with my ex-boyfriend, Kea.  He lived in Morgan Hill, and I was attending college in San Dimas, CA, where I still am today.  Morgan Hill is near San Jose, CA, so is about six hours from here.  I drove up for a weekend in October to hang out with him and he told me he wanted to take me on a date.

He borrowed his mom’s Lexus and, I can’t quite remember if we went to the movie first or if we went to sushi first.  I feel like it was sushi.  It was awesome, but I ate WAY TOO MUCH.  I hate when I do that.  After the movie, he took me to coffee, and then he decided we should go to the reservoir.

So, we arrive at the reservoir, a place we had walked to several times before from his house, as it is only like a mile or two away.  He parked the car and pushed the button to make the convertible top come off so we could look at the stars.  We sat beneath the dark sky for hours, just talking and looking into the depths of space.  The stars were beautiful.

Suddenly, the cops showed up!  What am I supposed to do with that?  We weren’t doing anything, especially not anything illegal.  They assumed we were having sex.  DISGUSTING.  Even though he was on one side of the car and I was on the other and we were both fully clothed, if you look young and you’re in a car late at night, sex is what you must be doing.  It was horrifying.  I never want to be questioned by the police again.  I made him take me back to his house so I could drive back to the house I was staying at.  I wanted to just fall off a cliff.


And that my friends, is why I don’t go on dates.


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