Last week I was challenged by a friend. We went on a walk and he asked me to tell him five things I like about myself. I couldn’t answer him. That is honestly one of the hardest questions for me to answer. It’s not really that I hate myself (even though I do at times), or that I think that there is nothing good about me (because there must be something). No, I think it stems from something that was instilled in me as a young person. I once forced myself to be overly humble, that you shouldn’t ever take pride in yourself. I think that maybe every time I’ve found something about myself that I do like, I’ve always found a better version in someone else. I know I’m not the best, so I quit trying to be.
So, Patrick Russell, this post is for you.
- I like that I have the ability to hang out with anybody. Not that I have a lot of friends (I don’t), but that if someone wants to hang out with me, I am totally willing and comfortable to hang out with them. It may not seem like, but I love making new friends. I love getting to know people. I love getting to know people on a deeper level. I am not picky about who I talk to or who I spend time with. I just like people. I don’t like a lot of people in one place swarming me, but I like people who are willing to invest as much time in me as I do into them.
- I like my eye for detail. I like my eyes too, they’re a neat color. But that’s beside the point. I like that I can notice when people change, even if I don’t spend a lot of time with them. I like that I can find something I like in everyone, and I emphasize that to them. Whether it is physical or spiritual, or something in their personality, I can always find what I like about someone, and build it up. It’s something that I started as a freshman in high school. I felt unnoticed, but I realized that I can’t expect people to ever compliment me if I don’t ever compliment anyone. It has just grown from then. The only downside now is that I find it almost impossible to accept compliments. Not because mine are not genuine (they are), but because it’s hard for me to see myself the way others see me, the way God sees me.
- I like that I can lose myself in music. Whether I am writing, playing, or simply listening to music, it is everything. I love music, it’s as simple as that. If music somehow became illegal, I would outwardly break the law. I feel as if I could not go a day without some form of music. For me, it’s not even completely about the sound or the notes. A lot of the time it’s the lyrics, the flow, and the emotion. I like different songs because of the lyrics and how the song makes me feel. I could go on, but I’m afraid I don’t know how to make this make sense.
- I like my ability to laugh at almost anything. I can find humor in the darkest of realities. I prefer reading about suicidal people and depression and people in mental wards. I love putting myself in that world (not literally). I can make a pressing issue light, just by laughing at it. I don’t necessarily do this in my own life, but I do it with my friends. If I say something stupid or inappropriate for the situation, I just laugh and everyone laughs with me (I don’t know why). I don’t get embarrassed very often, because I usually just end up laughing at myself. In this sense, I am free. Even though I’m not a funny person, I know how to laugh.
- Lastly, I like that I can write. I may not be the best writer, but I can express myself through written words. I do it in songs, poetry, even this silly blog. Lately, God has put it on my heart to maybe write a book. I’m not sure when I’ll start to attempt to accomplish this task, but it is a goal I have for myself to complete someday. If I have anything to say, it comes out best in writing. I can put all of my emotions on a single page. I have the ability (I think) to help people feel what I feel through what I write. And if they can’t relate, they at least understand where I’m coming from. I’m most honest in my writing.
My task is complete. I have conquered this challenge.
This type of list is possibly something that everyone should try. It’s good to see the good in ourselves. And so I want to challenge everyone to make a list of their own.