I left home on Saturday to move back to San Dimas for school. I am so happy to be out of that little town and that horrible home to be somewhere where I can feel safe. I’m surrounded by many nice people who enjoy their lives at Life Pacific College.
However, there are some things that I miss. I miss my best friend Mary. She’s beautiful and crazy and spontaneous, and if I had my way, she would be right here at school with me. But, God had other plans and in October she will be off to Germany. I guess it is important that she live her own life, instead of a life stuck by my side. I miss being able to talk to her about everything that goes on in my life, and always knowing I had her shoulder to cry on. I miss rolling around on random surfaces with her. And most of all I miss our random discussions about anything and everything; from Jesus to boys to people we don’t know, but would marry anyway.
I also really miss my dog, Xylo. She loves me so much, and to be loved by one so innocent almost completes my life, although she is just an animal. She sleeps on my bed every night and is there if I need something to hug and “comfort” me when I am in tears. Sometimes I feel as if she knows when I need a friend. She’s probably the craziest animal on earth and because of this, even if I do get my own apartment someday, I’m scared to bring to Southern California; I don’t want her to feel restless or to attempt to run away like she sometimes does at home.
I know that LIFE is where I need to be right now, and I would much rather be here than home, but I’m already letting myself feel stressed. I miss my old quad, especially Jenny, Michelle, and Hannah. Not having them as close as the next room over is hard, because they already know so much about me. They know when I need a friend and they know when I am down. They almost understand me. I feel almost as if I’m starting over and making friends is almost impossible for me. My stress is beginning to lead to depression and that is something that I really don’t want. I can’t handle that right now. A year ago I started school with one of the best friends I could have asked for, but that person has recently turned their back on me. And my school, being so small, causes me to see that person all the time, knowing that we will probably never speak, and trying to hard to let go of the pain and to completely forgive and forget is so hard right now. I guess what I am saying is that, if you’re reading this, it would be greatly appreciated if you could pray for me.